


Encore Une Fois

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Character Death, Family, Fluff, Implied Violence, M/M, Memory Loss, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love, implied BDSM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 25,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short (mostly) Cecearl/Cecilos ficlets based on Tumblr prompts.<br/>The "M" rating is for chapter 11, where things get hot in the kitchen.<br/>Major character death in chapter 17.<br/>Reference to BDSM in chapter 23 but no detailed descriptions.</p><p>New title is from http://youtu.be/0zN5MXP4aRc</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon said: "I'll cover your eyes"  
> Prompt set 480 - 10
> 
> Teen Earl wants to help Teen Cecil get a scout badge.

The two scouts climbed down into the dried up creek, following tracks like Scoutmaster showed them. The taller one turned and offered the shorter one a hand.  
"You okay, Ceece?" He looked at his friend's sash then at his own, barely a gap left for the badge he hoped to earn today. "Should get a badge just for climbing down here. It gets scary and you're real brave."  
Cecil took the offered assistance and let his friend guide him down the last slippery scramble. "Earl, I don't want a consolation prize. I want to earn the _Track a Spiderwolf_ badge. My turn?"  
Earl nodded. "Sure. Tell me which way we should turn."  
"At least there's a fifty-fifty chance of me getting it right. Ri-ight?" Cecil grinned at Earl. Earl laughed.  
"Sure, Ceece."

Cecil studied the ground, dusty ochre where sun baked and water rarely reached but deep red-brown where under the surface sluggish percolation betrayed the river's presence. He pointed. "There."  
Earl looked and smiled. "Yeah! Looks like something dug for water, recent too. Wanna go look?"  
Cecil grinned and trotted over to the shallow water hole. Tracks led away from it to the west. Cecil pointed and set off, Earl nodded and followed.

Earl caught up and took Cecil's arm. "You're getting better at this. What you want to do once we find the spiderwolf lair?"  
"Uh, run away?" Cecil shrugged. "I don't want to see any real dangerous animals. I might scream like I did when you put scorpions in my closet for a laugh and I didn't notice until one crawled out of my pocket in class." Earl giggled. Cecil frowned. "That was totally not funny. I bet I remember it forever."  
Earl let go Cecil's arm and gave him a one-handed hug around the shoulders.  
"I promise if I see anything that might make you scream, I'll cover your eyes."


	2. Coming Out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon asked: "Does it shock you?"  
> Prompt set 480 - 9
> 
> It is the evening before Cecil has to go to Europe and he wants to find out how Earl feels.

Cecil asked again to help fill the silence. "Does it shock you?"  
"No." Earl frowned, touched his lips and rubbed his cheek. "Yes. Maybe."  
Cecil rolled his eyes and sighed. "That is not helpful. Do you... do you wish I hadn't done that?"

Earl stayed silent. Cecil watched his face for any sign of emotion behind the confusion Earl already expressed. Eventually, Earl sighed. "No, I don't wish that at all. I'm surprised, not shocked. I didn't know."  
Cecil looked away. "Huh. Maybe **I** wish I hadn't done that."  
Earl reached out to hug his friend but stopped himself. He patted Cecil's arm.  
"Did I... I mean I'm kinda flattered but... um... have I been leading you on? I didn't mean to."  
Cecil took a step away. "No! I thought you liked me. Like I like you. Guess I was wrong." He turned and walked away. Earl followed a few seconds later.

He caught up and held Cecil's arm. "Ceece, wait. Please. Stop."  
Cecil stopped but he would not look at Earl. His voice wavered and halted. "I wanted to be able to look back on today and remember it, remember forever the first time I kissed you. I wanted a memory that you kissed me too. I imagined we'd laugh and go out arm in arm like we do, but it would mean something more." Cecil sighed, covered his face, shook his head. His words muffled through his hands. "I wanted a memory to come home to after my trip. This is not the memory I wanted of tonight."

Earl walked in front of his best friend, pulled Cecil's hands from his face. "I can't be what you want, Ceece. But maybe when you get home in a few months we'll forget and be friends? Like always?"  
Cecil nodded and forced out a smile.  
"Sure. Whatever. I'm going home to get some sleep. I have to report to City Hall real early for some _re-education programme_ linked to this trip they say I have to take before I get my full-time contract at the radio station."  
"Oh. Okay." Earl hugged Cecil. "I bet you meet someone else in Europe, wherever that is, and forget me."  
"No," Cecil smiled for real. "I'll get over you, but I won't forget."


	3. Third Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: prompt set 482 - 1 "you are so calm"
> 
> Carlos gets ready to meet Cecil for their third date.  
> A scientist is always calm, right?

Carlos stared at his reflection. He frowned at it, scowled at his hair and pulled a damp comb through it, followed by a flat hand, one more time. His curls tamed for a few seconds then sprung up proud. He took one deep breath, let it out slowly and forced his face to relax. On the second deep breath he was almost resigned to attending his third date looking like he had been dragged through undergrowth. Carlos held the third deep breath for a second too long and yelled at himself.  
 _"OH FOR FUCKSAKE MAN YOU LOOK LIKE A POODLE!"_

Carlos threw the comb across the room, messed up his tresses with both hands then balled his fists. He closed his eyes and counted back slowly from thirty. When he opened his eyes again, Carlos saw the familiar sight of his untameable hair cascading almost to his shoulders. Rochelle poked her head around the door.   
"You ok? Getting ready? It's almost seven. What time do you need to leave?"  
"Ugh. Shame that barber shop closed down. Ro, will you cut my hair? The clippers are--"  
Rochelle laughed, waved her hands and backed out. "No! No way. There is a reason why none of the salons ever have an available appointment slot for you! Have a good time. I'm going home." 

The door closed and Carlos heard Rochelle's footsteps fade as she trotted downstairs. Her voice floated up, "Remember to lock up!"  
Carlos cursed under his breath. He ruffled his hair up again and looked around for the comb.   
"I could tie it back... umm..."   
He located the comb and looked for something to use to secure his hair. His lab coat pocket provided a rubber band. Carlos put the band around his wrist, combed his hair back into a ponytail and secured it. He observed the result in the mirror. Carlos cursed again, louder.  
"Ah fuckit that's worse! I have a pompom growing out of my skull!"  
He pulled at the rubber band and shrieked in pain as hair strands stuck and snagged and snapped.

"Okay, get a grip, you are a _scientist_ and you are _fine_."  
Carlos combed out his hair, rolled his eyes and swore as it bounced back into its standard conditions. He checked the time on his phone and yelled _"SHITSHITSHIT WHAT'LL I WEAR!"_

Carlos forced the closet doors open. He surveyed the rail of jeans, flannels and lab coats. All creased. He yelled again, incoherent syllables that may have had something to do with hating ironing and wishing he had kept on top of the laundry. He grabbed a clean towel, his best shirt, his only clean jeans and a formal lab coat, muttering, _"well I guess it might be a special occasion,"_ and went downstairs into the lab. The ironing board refused to cooperate ever since his first date with Cecil when he accused it of deliberately collapsing. Instead, Carlos smoothed the bath towel out over a table and plugged the iron in to heat up. 

Carlos stomped around the lab in his boxers and socks, complaining loudly about unwashed glassware and still-humming unattended electricals, until the little red light clicked off. He set about ironing with care and precision. By the time he dressed, his jeans were perfectly wrinkle-free and his shirt had one, firm crease running from shoulder to cuff on each sleeve. The lab coat looked fresh from the packet. Carlos added a selection of decorative items to his top pocket, mainly colourful writing implements like liquid chalks that escaped the City Council's ban on pens. aHe checked his watch.  
 _"FUCKFUCKFUCKITTYFUCK I'M GONNA BE SO LATE!"_

Carlos ran upstairs, grabbed his keys and his wallet and ran down again, straight out the lab main door, closing and locking it behind him. He groaned and banged his head on the door, opened it again and lunged back upstairs to find his shoes.

Carlos sat on his bed, perspiring already and talking to himself.  
 _"Come on man, he likes you, you like him, it will be fine. Take him to dinner, talk about stuff, ask him stuff, if nothing happens and it's just a date then that's also fine. There's no rush you've onLY BEEN WAITING ABOUT A YEAR FOR... ugh, A SCIENTIST IS ALWAYS PATIENT AND RATIonal!"_   
Carlos stood, swore at the ceiling as he punched fists down by his sides, checked himself in the mirror again, threw a blanket over it just in case, checked the contents of the bedside drawer, hid the condoms and lube under a book so it wasn't _too_ obvious they were new and walked downstairs. He did not hear the ceiling snigger back at him. He texted as he walked, _sorry bit late, you know - science! On my way._

Cecil looked up, smiled and grinned as Carlos approached. He stood and offered a hug and an awkward kiss-hello that wasn't quite a habit yet. "Mmhmmhmm. Moonlite for pie and coffee like we planned? Or we could walk to the store and get some supplies and a movie. Your hair looks amazing. Can I?"  
Carlos smiled and nodded, leaned his head slightly to allow Cecil to run long fingers through messy locks. Carlos closed his eyes and shivered at the sensation. Cecil stroked his cheek. "I was so relieved to get your text! I was worried you might change your mind. I bet you were held up by some real important science. You can tell me all about it if you like. Ugh, I'm glad you couldn't see me getting ready, I tried on so many outfits and yelled at my closet until it refused to open any more. My place is such a mess now, stuff everywhere. I'm embarrassed to invite you back. Honestly, I am just made of nerves and caffeine."  
Carlos laughed. "Really? You look lovely. Um, maybe coffee and pie would be a bad idea, scientifically the combination of caffeine and sugar might stop you from sleeping later. We could go for a walk, get something for dinner at the store then go back to mine? There's wine in the refrigerator and there's a microwave and I have Netflix."   
Cecil kissed Carlos on the cheek. "Mmm, that's not what I want keeping me up later. You know what I love apart from your perfect hair? You are so calm!"

Carlos took Cecil's hand, wondering if Cecil would feel his racing, thumping pulse. "A scientist is always calm."


	4. Phobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could a brave ex-scoutmaster possibly be afraid of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: "Earl 4"  
> CHaracter Questions 003, Animal Edition, Animal-related phobias.

Earl stood rooted to the spot. He gripped the handle of his heaviest sauté pan with white knuckled intensity, brain suspending pain signals.

It moved.

Earl raised the sauté pan higher, slowly, unable to drag his eyes away from the creature in the corner. He wanted to bolt, to climb up high away from it but his legs would not obey simple commands like _move!_ and _leap!_

Earl would not risk a blink. 

_What if it runs? They say these bastards are fast. What if I blink and it runs and I don't know where it is? What if I have to tear this kitchen apart, cupboard by dark, endless cupboard, to find it? What if there's... what if I find a... a... NEST?_

A bead of sweat tickled Earl's temple and trickled down the side of his cheek. He heard it drop onto the floor. The creature sniffed the air, all twitching snout and quivering whiskers, creeping along the kick-boards under the floor-level kitchen units, its leisurely waddle rewarding it with unswept morsels.

It stopped. Sitting up on its haunches, looking around, one clawed forefoot resting on a cupboard door and stretching up, impossibly tall, whiskers investigating a dribble of something the chef had not noticed. Losing interest, dropping to the floor again, waddling on.

Earl watched its progress intently. He tried to remember his scoutmaster training but that was from a whole other life. 

_Come on, man! It's more scared of you. You know what a scared animal is like? Vicious! Wait, watch, find it's lair, exterminate the colony. Leave none alive. Later. Get help._

Earl took a slow, deep breath in, held it, exhaled. He repeated the breathing exercise until he thought he could trust himself to lower his weapon. 

The door banged and the creature vanished as if it had never existed.

"Da-a-ad? Dad? Oh! Hi dad, you look funny. I'm hungry, is there ice cream? Oh! Was that a..." Roger pointed at the impossibly narrow gap the creature used as an escape route. Earl put down the sauté pan and hugged his son.   
"Hey, you want to go out for dinner before I take you to Uncle Cecil's and Uncle Carlos's? Pizza? I don't feel like cooking in here tonight and I need to call... someone to come round and, umm, remove something."  
Roger's face brightened at the suggestion of junk food and the implication of a sleepover at his uncles' place. "Oh will Janice be there too?"  
Earl smiled. "Probably not, sweetheart. Pack your homework and clean things for morning. And your toothbrush, young man! I'm on a real late shift tonight. I"ll pick you up to take you to school in the morning."  
Roger ran upstairs. Earl followed. Roger let his dad supervise his packing, keeping up a constant chatter about everything except school. 

Earl froze at the question Roger asked as he stuffed a toy cat into his holdall.

"Dad, will Uncle Cecil bring Khoshekh home to play? He's a real sweet boy, Khoshekh I mean. Remember that time you called Uncle Cecil to look after me because you got called in to work real late? And he brought Khoshekh round too so I could pet him? His fur is real soft and his spine ridges are real sharp and smooth. He escaped out into the yard and Uncle Cecil was real worried he wouldn't come back, but he did! He did come back and, dad? You'll never guess what he did! Khoshekh, I mean, not Uncle Cee, you're pretty good at guessing what Uncle Cee's gonna do and say. He _brought in an alive mouse to teach me how to hunt!"_

Earl barely heard Roger explain that Khoshekh must've thought human kids were kittens as he started the car and thought up things to say to "Uncle Cee".


	5. Little Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said - prompt set 495/9: "Just shoot already"  
> Carlos & Earl

Carlos sat opposite Earl while Cecil pottered in the background with Roger. Earl sighed. Carlos scowled. "Look I know I must've done something to piss you off. Don't make me sit here and guess what it is. Just shoot already."  
Earl rolled his eyes and sighed louder. Carlos saw Cecil facepalm. Roger grinned. "Daddy, how did Uncle Carlos kiss you off?"

Carlos stared at Roger for a moment then faced Earl's stare.  
"Oh."  
Earl gave a tight-lipped nod. "Mmhmm."  
"Roger likes to repeat what he hears, doesn't he?"  
"Mmhmm."  
Carlos was silent.  
Earl leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Can you think back, Carlos, to yesterday when you were so kind as to offer to look after Roger. You took him to the lab to do some science, right?"  
Carlos nodded.  
"Cecil tells me you get a little wrapped up in science. You might have forgotten about Roger."  
Carlos was aghast. "No! No way! I made sure he was safe. We did some experiments. I gave him a pair of goggles and the littlest lab coat..." Earl tried not to grin at the sound of Cecil's he-was-so-cute! coming from behind Carlos.  
Earl smiled despite his best efforts. "I didn't mean that, Carlos, I meant you might have forgotten about the presence of young ears."

Carlos hid his face in his hands and muffled his reply.  
"I am so sorry! Earl, it just slipped out. I didn't realise he heard me."  
From the kitchen, a small voice piped out, "Sit! fork! Burger! That's ducking hot!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much how I taught one of my nieces to swear.


	6. Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin has been spotted in Night Vale.  
> Carlos, Earl and Cecil have to decide what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: Prompt set 489 - 1 Cecearlos discussing Kevin.
> 
> You have no sympathy for him?

Cecil, Carlos and Earl sat around the dining table. Unusually, it was bare. Earl had not supplied samples of his latest additions to the menu at work, Cecil had not stopped off at the market for the latest locally produced liqueur, and Carlos had cleared away all of his science notes. 

"Are you sure it was him?" Earl frowned. Carlos nodded.  
"As sure as a scientist can be. He was a way off and going in the other direction. I did not want to call out or approach too close, but I recognised his build and the way he moved when he walked. I am almost certain it was him." Carlos looked at Cecil. Cecil stared at his clasped hands resting on the empty table.  
Earl reached across and held Cecil's hands in both of his. "Ceece, we won't let him near you. If he threatens you," Earl turned to Carlos and waited for eye contact, "or you, I will deal with him."

Carlos raised his eyebrows and stared at Earl until the ex-scoutmaster noticed and met his gaze.  
" _Deal with him?_ How? Call Night Vale Mental Health Authority?" Carlos glanced at Cecil. "You might as well blow a dog-whistle at a pack of spiderwolves for all the good they do."  
Earl shook his head. "No. I mean to deal with him _personally,_ if you catch my drift."  
Carlos frowned. "But you are a scoutmaster and a chef, not a psychiatrist or psychologist. I know you have many talents, but helping someone as sick as Kevin is probably beyond--"  
Cecil interrupted Carlos, grabbing his leg and squeezing, gripping Earl's wrist tightly enough to elicit a whimper.  
"Keep him away from me. Earl, do whatever you think needs to be done. Carlos, don't... don't..."  
Cecil sat shaking his head, eyes flicking left and right but looking at nothing, sentence unfinished. Carlos shuffled closer beside Cecil and wrapped both arms around him. "Oh you are trembling! You met Kevin when you came to visit me in the dog park. He wasn't all that bad, was he?" 

Cecil stiffened. Earl got up and walked around the table to hold Cecil's face and kiss his forehead.  
"Ceece, I promise not to let him hurt you."  
Cecil scratched at the backs of his hands, over and over the same spot until Carlos released his embrace and held Cecil's hands away from each other.  
"Wh... w... wha... what if. What." Cecil closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What. If. He. Comes. After. You. Three."  
Carlos frowned. "Three. Oh. Roger."  
Earl stood upright, hand still stroking the back of Cecil's head. He stared at Carlos. "Do you think he would? Go after Roger?"  
Carlos let go one of Cecil's hands, rested an elbow on the table and stroked his chin. "Hmm. I don't know for sure. I think it is unlikely, but possible. He is more likely to try to contact either Cecil or me directly first. As far as I know, he may be unaware of the huge part you and Roger play in our lives. Kevin was always really, _really_ keen, first, to see the results of my research into the origin and nature of the _smiling god_ and, second, to get Cecil into his radio station. You know, the one he built himself."

Cecil shivered and whispered. "So much blood. So much."  
Carlos held Cecil's hands still once more, raising each one to his lips just once. "I know, honey. It was only lizard... mostly, there was one trophy jawbone Alisha brought back from battle. I asked Doug and he said he would stop helping Kevin to decorate. Look, if Kevin finds me I'll get him to hospital or something myself. I'm sure I can lure him to a safe place. He needs medical attention."  
Cecil, calmer, raised one eyebrow and tilted his head up. "Night Vale General Hospital? You call that a safe place? Someone like Kevin could smile his way right back out of their secure ward and the nursing staff wouldn't ever know what hit them."

Earl knelt and hugged Cecil, pulling Cecil's head onto his shoulder. "I'll find him first. Ceece, I promise I will, and you won't have to worry about Kevin finding you and... um... persuading you to do anything you don't want."  
Carlos sighed. "Earl, do you have no sympathy for him? Not even a little?"  
Earl shook his head. "Not a shred. He used you, he threatened Cecil, he would use whatever and _whoever_ he could to get what he wants. We have a choice. One," Earl pointed one forefinger at the ceiling. "Let Kevin wander around and find you, or find Cecil, _elder gods_ neither of those are difficult. Maybe he'll find out about our little family and go after the weakest member first. Oh!" Earl fumbled his phone as he spoke. "Two, I find Kevin and stop him before he does anything." 

Earl left the room to make his call. Cecil gripped Carlos's arm.  
"Carlos, what will he do?"  
Carlos frowned. "Earl or Kevin? No matter. I predict Kevin will try to ingratiate himself, make himself part of our lives if he can, like he did with me in the desert. Ugh, he seemed so nice! He really cheered me up when I was... Oh. Um... Okay. That hurts just a little bit, honey, can you let go?"  
Cecil relaxed his sudden tight grip on Carlos. Carlos rubbed his forearm and smiled, but looked away. "Sorry, Ceece, I talk too much sometimes."  
Earl burst back into the dining room. "Roger is fine, he's in class. Look, I'm going to go pick him up early. I made up some lame excuse about throat spiders but until I know exactly where Kevin is and what he wants, I need Roger in my sight."  
Cecil nodded. "Earl, if you two want to move out so Kevin doesn't link you with us, I'd understand. I will call Abby and Steve to warn them to look out for Janice. Carlos?"  
Carlos nodded. "Mmhmm, fine, if you think you need to do that to feel safe, but I should talk to him. He will listen to me. We were kinda friends for a while. He won't try to hurt me."  
Earl pulled his lips and eyes narrow. "Carlos, if he does try to hurt you, can you handle him?"  
"What?" Carlos laughed a little higher in pitch than usual. "You mean, can I fight?"  
"No," Earl held Carlos's gaze. "I mean, can you win?" 

Carlos gaped for a moment then found a voice. "It won't come to that. He has no reason to hurt me."  
"Carlos," Cecil's voice was quiet but demanded attention nonetheless. "He had no reason to hurt anyone, but he did it anyway. Did you ever meet the old NVCR sales team?"  
Carlos had no answer. He sighed and folded his arms. "We should not make any decisions or take action until we have observations and evidence."  
Cecil looked at Earl. Earl shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Okay. I'm taking Roger to Josie's. Ceece, come with me. You can call Abby from the car and ask if she wants us to collect Janice too. Carlos? Go to the lab but don't let anyone in until I get there. Okay?"  
Carlos nodded and shrugged.

All three stood and looked for phones and keys ready to leave. Carlos opened the front door and froze at the sight of a figure walking up the path, a figure who who smiled and rubbed at fresh stains on his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gong to tidy this up a bit and add some kind of resolution when my brain is working better.


	7. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen counsels Earl.  
> It doesn't go as well as she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: prompt set 494/4  
> somebody talking to Earl about Cecilos.
> 
> "That's not how you break up someone."

Maureen glowered at the man perched opposite her.  
"This is not how you break up someone. You need to be subtle. What you tried made an us-against-him situation. You know you just made them stronger, right?"

Earl rolled his eyes and sunk his forehead onto his hands. "Yeah, I know, I know." He sighed and flopped his elbows onto the bar. "I thought, ugh, I really thought Carlos stayed in the desert otherworld for so long because he didn't want to come home to Cecil. I thought if I showed him how difficult Ceece can be he'd... Ugh."

Maureen shook her head as she topped up Earl's beer from the tap and slid it back in front of him. "Seriously? You thought that would work? Have you listened to his show, like, ever? It's all perfect-Caros-this and favourite-interloper-that. Makes me wanna puke. You think our local scientist isn't gonna have his head turned by that kinda hero worship?"

Earl wasn't drunk enough to weep and Maureen wasn't the kind of bartender to let him. She pushed a dish of bar-fodder at him. "Hey, these are fresh, I promise. No unwashed fingers on your nuts." Earl looked at the dish suspiciously, shrugged and ate.  
"So, what do I do? Come on, Maureen, you interned with Ceece for long enough to know him and you were in the desert wherever-it-was with Professor Perfect. How do I fix this?"

Maureen's lips twitched and she made rare eye-contact. "You... I can't believe I'm saying this. You leave it alone. You're too good for him." Maureen rolled her eyes. "Breaking them up would be nice revenge for all the Cecil-induced shit I've been through in my internship, but you're kinda a nice guy, at least you tip well, and I don't want to lose a decent customer because of the Palmer touch."

Earl raised one eyebrow. "Huh?"  
"You must have noticed! People around Cecil Palmer have... odd things happen. You got carried into the void. I drank his orange juice and faded out of existence, and that was just the start! He sent Dana to the dog park. So many other interns... Ugh, I swear he's cursed. Or cursing."  
Earl sniggered. "Usually both."

Maureen laughed at that. "Look, you are not going to break them up. They deserve each other. Maybe you should think about what you really want and leave Cecil Fucking Palmer and Carlos the Dork out of your life."  
Earl giggled. Maureen wrote up his check and pushed it at him. 

Out in the fresh air, Earl thought about Roger, hopefully sleeping peacefully and not tormenting his babysitter too much. He thought about Cecil and about Carlos and about himself. He took out his phone.  
"Hey Carlos, sorry I talked some stupid shit earlier. Ceece an'I've some history he can't remember an' I can't forget. But he really really really really really likes you. Can I make up f'rit? I can get you pri... pri... pri-o-ri-ty reservations at Tourniquet. Call me if you might forgive me for food. "


	8. Convincing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve is not a jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set 495 - 7 "Don't let them convince you"  
> generalcupcakery said - Earl and whoever else you want  
> cosleia said - somebody talking to Earl about Cecilos

"I mean it." Steve sighed but smiled. "Don't let them convince you. I know Cecil has his... " Steve waved a hand as if trying to waft the right word into his sentence, "...issues and Carlos is far from perfect, but they're good together." Earl stared at his coffee. Steve kept talking. "Maybe... I dunno. Maybe they'll be good for... you'll be... whatever." Steve's shoulders heaved up once, paused and gradually lowered. "You know, they'll tell you all kinds of things. People I mean. Our fellow concerned citizens."  
Earl lifted his cup and sipped. He made a face and put it down again. Had Steve really talked at him for so long that the coffee was as tepid as his presence?

Earl formed a bland sentence in his head, rehearsed a neutral tone internally and opened his mouth. Steve spoke first.  
"Cecil always liked you. He doesn't remember but you do, right? I remember too. Abby's crushed that he's forgotten so much. That must hurt you too I guess. But you have a chance now. I don't mean just with my brother in law, I mean you have a chance to have an extended family. You do this, you don't just get Cecil for yourself, you get Cecil as another parent for your boy. And Carlos too. And he gets an aunt and an uncle and a cousin. You get a brother and a sister and a niece... you get a whole support network."

Steve stopped to breathe. Earl tried out the sentence in his head again, almost spoke, but Steve didn't like long pauses. "So, all those people who tell you what's right and what's wrong and what's a normal family and what's not? Don't let them convince you to say no for the wrong reason. Sure, Abby and I have the mom, dad, kid model going, but there's no rules at City Hall saying that's what a family is. I checked as soon as I found out what Cecil was planning. Family means all sorts of different things to different people."

Earl anticipated a gap and shot out his response. "Roger and I are coping just fine, thank you for your concern!" Steve looked down, face visibly reddening. Earl put both hands flat on the table between them and leaned forwards, voice lower. "Sorry, that came out a little harsher than I intended. It's one thing to have Ceece admit privately that he and I have something worth nurturing, quite another for him to announce on the air that he and Carlos discussed the possibility of inviting me to live with them. You have no idea how much unsolicited advice and impolite enquiry I have already endured." Earl's voice lowered even further as he fought not to shout. _"Oh Chef, have you slept with the interloper yet? Hey Harlan, is their bed big enough? Earl, if I was you I'd run a mile from that scientist and his crazy ideas. Hi Scout, how long before Roger gets bullied for having three dads, you think about your kid's welfare you selfish bas...?"_

Earl sat back and folded his arms across his chest. He studied the wall beside him. Steve sighed again but without his smile. "People are jerks, Earl. Just... do what you think's best for you and your boy. Not what they think's normal. They'll flutter off to the next thing that catches their attention soon and leave you alone. I am sorry I've offended you. I should go, I promised Janice ice cream at White Sands. They're doing a new flavour. Chili banana."

Steve left with a half wave and a half smile. Earl watched him go. Once Steve was safely at the corner, Earl took out his phone. He smiled and dialled.  
"Hey, you were right. He wanted to have a talk. You are one smart scientist. I'm gonna pick up Roger in about thirty minutes and bring him over. Okay? Haha yeah. You want me to wait until you're there before I tell Ceece about his interfering brother in law? No problem. Yeah, I kinda like the guy too. See you soon..."  
Earl sighed. They had both waited for a couple of seconds of silence but it was too soon to add _sweetheart_ to the end of that call.


	9. Dodgy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos thinks they should talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: prompt set 495/10, Cecil and Earl
> 
> "You're dodging the issue"
> 
> (I cheated and made this Cecearlos)

Earl huffed. "I am not."  
Carlos leaned forward and hissed. "You are! You're dodging the issue. Sit."  
Earl sat. "Look I shouldn't be front of house like this. Can we talk later? Hey, I'll bring you two some more wine. On the hou--"  
Carlos put his hand on Earl's arm, gripping a little too tight. "No. Earl, I am a scientist! I am not stupid and I can see you like Cecil. He likes you, way more than he admits to me, but he does. We need to talk, all of us. There has to be a solution. Scientists find solutions."  
Earl glanced at the hand on his forearm. A sudden vision of himself taking that hand, raising it to his lips, pulling its owner into a lingering kiss... No, this was Carlos. Cecil's perfect Carlos. Earl swallowed and ignored the tingle in his pants.

"Hey! My favourite boys are chatting. That is so neat!"  
Cecil swung into his seat, grinning.  
"Oh," Earl smiled with more teeth than was strictly necessary. "I was just going. You know, kitchen, chef stuff."  
"Oh don't be silly. It's closing time. They'll holler if they need you, right?" Cecil looked from Earl's rictus to Carlos's warmth. "Right honey?"  
"Right. I was about to invite Earl to our place for dinner to say thanks for getting us these cancelled reservations. Ceece, would that be okay? He could bring Roger if he wanted and they could stay over. Oh!" Carlos frowned at Earl and dropped his voice a little. He lowered his face and smirked up at Earl. "Too much?"  
Earl's reply was curtailed by Cecil's hand on his knee. "Oh you must come. Dinner will be... um... well, you know me. But we'd love to have you." Cecil grinned. "Have you over, I mean. We'd love to have you over. Right, sweetie?"  
Carlos's face twitched. "Sure. We are both looking forward to having you. Over."

Earl sat still, grateful for the loose cotton chef uniform he wore. "Um, are you suggesting... what exactly?"  
Cecil looked away. "A dinner invitation, although the catering will, I'm sure, be sub-par. I'd like for us all to be friends, at least."  
Carlos took Earl's hand. "What Cecil and I mean is that it may be possible to find a solution to our situation that is mutually beneficial and results in a stable unit whereby you and Roger and Ceece and I..." Carlos paused to gaze at Cecil, who glanced at him, flashed a smile and looked away, "...share the same living space and we can rota family duties and--"

Earl gripped the edge of his seat. "You mean I should move in? With my son? To your house?"  
Cecil grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Um, did we say that?"  
Carlos laughed. "Yes, Ceece, we talked about it, remember? We talked about how you and Earl were, um, friends, and you liked him? And I said I was okay about that but--"  
"Okay!" Cecil almost shouted. "I do remember, sweetie." Cecil turned to Earl. "This might be a bit of a surprise, but I like you. Carlos thinks he might like you if he got to know you better."  
Cecil tailed off. Carlos smiled, took Cecil's hand and kissed his thumb. Carlos turned to Earl.  
"I know you like Ceece because you told me. I know Ceece likes you because I have senses that give me evidence that... Ow, Cecil! Please." Carlos rubbed his leg. "Okay, I suppose the meaning I am trying to convey is that I like you too and I think you like me. So, we all like each other, although you and Ceece like each other more and Ceece and I like each other the most and you and I... um... you and I might learn to like each other enough."

Earl tried hard to keep his face neutral. "Enough for what?" Carlos shrugged. Cecil smiled. The three looked at each other, eye contact flitting like bees in clover. Earl sighed. "I guess we could talk sometime. No harm in talking, right?"


	10. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Janice have been having vivid dreams about a very stange place indeed.  
> Does Carlos the Interloper hold the key?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thegodofthewanderers said: prompt set 501/6, Cecil & Earl
> 
> "It's about their dreams"

Earl sat forward in his chair. "We need to talk, Ceece. It's not normal. Not natural." Cecil dropped the smile that had graced his lips as soon as he had seen Earl across the room, persisted as he wandered over and sat, reached across to offer a soft hello-there kiss. Sudden worry clouded his face.  
"What do we need to talk about, Earl? If it's bad news make it quick."  
Earl stared and recovered. "It's about their dreams." 

Earl elaborated. "Roger had another one. That's almost every night since we moved in with you and Carlos."  
Cecil shrugged. "What about it? Everyone has dreams. Most of us dream of a future of some uncertain duration. Some of us," Cecil waggled his eyebrows and pointed back and forth twice between their chests, "have our futures inscribed on stone tablets in the basement archives of City Hall before we even develop intangible dreams of our own."

Earl took a deep breath, blew it out slowly and sat back. "That's way different. These dreams Roger's been having..." Earl shook his head and sat forward again, "...they're surreal but self-consistent. He said last night he was in a place, a town, where the library was open and welcoming and the librarians, who seemed human, smiled and called him a clever boy, offered him age-appropriate fiction and a range of accessible reference materials. Can you imagine if he acted on that dream here?"

Cecil nodded. "Mmm, yeah. Janice mumbled something last time she stayed over about having a nightmare where she was living somewhere a boy with three dads and a girl with legs like hers were targets for bullies. I can't see it myself, Janice holds her own and Roger is, like, fifty percent scoutmaster. Carlos says that's not quite how it works but it must count for something, right?"  
Earl grinned at the sort-of-compliment. "Roger could take down a small spiderwolf but he needs time to grow into his attitude. He also told me that in his recurrent dream-place he could go to university to study almost anything but he'd have to pay for it. Upfront! Can you imagine, Ceece, what if you'd had to take out a loan to study... um... whatchacallit. Would you have gone to college if you had to pay for it in advance?"  
Cecil drew in a breath. "Hell no, who wants to start their adult life in a pit of debt or take a course that's training for a job rather than pure education? At least our community leaders recognise the value of keeping teenagers occupied with the right kind of learning. I wish I'd been allocated a travel pass to Nulogorsk though, it wasn't so very far from Luftnarp. I could have practised my conversational skills."  


Cecil sipped coffee. Earl reached across the table for his hand. "You okay?"  
"Mmm, yeah. Carlos said Janice told him she dreamed, like real vivid, about being somewhere people could only get married in pairs. He said it reminded him of something if only he could pin down the memory. Maybe Carlos gets odd dreams too."  
Earl shook his head. "That's as surreal as Roger's library dream. Do you think we should ask Carlos about his dreams?"  
"What for?" Cecil shrugged. "He says his weird dreams are his brain's way of processing information while he sleeps."  
"So he does have them? Dreams about another place?"

Cecil nodded. "Yeah. Um, he sometimes dreams about being younger and having to hide that he has a boyfriend. He wakes up in a real weird mood on those days."  
"Huh." Earl stared into his coffee cup, tapping his fingers slowly on the table. Counting.  
"Another?" Cecil pointed at Earl's cup. Earl ignored the offer. He looked up.  
"Ceece, when was the last time Carlos stayed up all night doing... whatever it is that he does?"  
"Science? Um, two, no, three nights ago. Why?" Cecil tilted his head to the side and flicked his hair out of his eyes.  
"That was the last time Roger had normal dreams. You know, swarms of killer spiders, spaghetti turning into snakes, having to do show-and-tell with no pants."

"Wait," Cecil waved a hand at Earl. Wait, wait, wait. Are you suggesting that _Carlos_ is affecting Roger's dreams? And Janice's when we babysit?"  
Earl raised his eyebrows and his shoulders.  
Cecil frowned. "Hmpf. I guess we need to give Carlos nicer things to dream about, or more reasons to stay awake."


	11. Starter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl gets distracted whilst helping Cecil make dinner for Carlos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said: prompt set 501/5 Cecil & Earl
> 
> "You need to protect yourself first"

"Wait!" Earl took the knife from Cecil's hand and gave him an apron. "You need to protect yourself first." Cecil looked at the plain beige garment and sneered a little.  
"You want me to put this on?"  
Earl nodded. "Uh-huh. Standard issue chef apron. Lemme help you." Earl took the apron, shook it out, held the top cord for Cecil to put his head through and motioned at him to turn around. Earl crossed the ties at the back and put his arms around Cecil's waist to tie a bow at his side, almost snatching a quick hug. "Better."  
"That's a matter of opinion!!" Cecil glared down at his plain garb. "I feel drab. I see this colour and I want to go sleep, I'm so bored."  
Earl grinned. "Here, remember how to de-vein nutmeg?" Cecil nodded. "Do this one, it's real fresh. You might want glasses... Oh! Haha!"  
Cecil looked down at the spurt of red on the beige canvas, a line tailing off into dots diagonally from his waist to his shoulder. He nodded. "That's actually an improvement. Did I get any on my shirt?"  
Earl smiled. "No, but it was a near miss. Maybe you should have the full-body apron." Cecil shook his head. "No? You could take your shirt off if you want."

Cecil thought for a few seconds and nodded. "Mmhmm, better safe than sorry I suppose."  
He stepped away from the still-pulsating nutmeg, took off his apron and his shirt, carefully hung the shirt over the back of a chair, and put the apron back on. "Will you give a few tips on kitchen safety on Cooking Stuff with Earl Harlan in my next show?"  
Earl smiled and looked sideways at Cecil. "Sure, why not. Personal protective equipment is very important for the modern chef." Earl's smile widened into a grin. "In fact, I am wearing my special chef trousers. They are heatproof up to three hundred degrees and almost completely stain resistant." He waited.  
Cecil did not disappoint. "Oh really? Are we using any ingredients that might stain permanently?"  
Earl nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes, we sure are. I mean you got lucky with the nutmeg but there's turmeric and... Yeah, that's probably a good idea."  
Cecil folded his trousers and placed them on the seat of the chair that already held his shirt.

"Okay." Earl smiled, lips twitching higher than usual, voice bright and bubbly. "Now for the spicy sauce. It's not difficult, you want to make it?"  
Cecil nodded. "Sure! That's the point, isn't it? If you can teach old Cecil to do it then my listeners should have no trouble."  
"Great. Just be careful that if you get any turmeric on your hands you don't accidentally transfer it to your shorts. They look new. It would be a real shame to ruin them." Earl busied himself rummaging in the fridge.  
"That's a good point, Earl. They are new, Carlos got them for me." Earl heard Cecil walk behind him to the kitchen table. In a minute, Earl turned to see glow-in-the-dark galaxy pattern shorts neatly folded on top of Cecil's trousers. He took a deep breath and whirled to face the main part of the kitchen.

Cecil stood with his back leaning against the sink, a slight smile lifting his face. "So, chef, tell me what you want me to do."  
Earl choked back the first response that came into his mind. "Uh, chop the nutmeg and the vegetables. Not too fine, you want to leave some texture."  
"Okay!" Cecil grinned and sashayed over to the nutmeg, de-veined and silent on the chopping board. Earl's eyes drifted down Cecil's back to the gap in the fabric at Cecil's ass.  
"I'll, um, I'll watch from here and tell you what to do." Earl felt his cheeks flush with sudden heat rising from his neck to his forehead. The buzzing sensation in the pit of his stomach multiplied into full-flight butterflies and he felt his cock, half-hard at the thought of what he really wanted to tell Cecil to do, touch against the inside of his loose chef pants. The extra stimulus was enough to make Earl close his eyes for two seconds, stifle a groan and try to adjust himself for comfort without alerting Cecil.  
"Like this?" Cecil stood aside to let Earl see his progress with the nutmeg. Earl stepped closer and peered over Cecil's shoulder.  
"Yes that's good, Cecil. You are definitely getting better at chopping."  
Cecil held up his knife. "Carlos got me this too." Earl felt Cecil's gaze fall on his face. "He said he knows how much I like the feel of a massive implement." Cecil smiled. "Do you have a big one too, Earl?"  
Earl returned to his place by the fridge. "Big enough, Ceece, it's how you handle it that counts. It's all in the smooth wrist motion."

Cecil stifled a snigger as he faced the chopping board again. "What would you have me do next, chef?" He glanced down at the front of his apron, his tingling arousal becoming evident.  
Earl jerked his eyes up to Cecil's face as Cecil turned to face him. "Um, sauce. You need..." Earl turned away to open the fridge. As his hand clasped around the small pot of natural yogurt, he heard Cecil right behind him.  
"Is it ha-ard?" Cecil's voice dropped a little in pitch and Earl's skin responded to the feeling of breath skimming his ear. Earl spun round and thrust the pot of yogurt at Cecil.  
"No! Um, no, not too hard."  
Cecil tutted. "Oh this won't do, Carlos can't eat dairy. There's some soy fake yogurt in the fridge. Will it work with that substitution? Uh, hmm, do you mind subbing for him? Does that make it harder?"  
Cecil buried his face in the fridge and grinned at the tomatoes.  
Earl closed his eyes and shook his head. "It certainly gives me something to think about but a good chef is... versatile. We can switch. You sure he's gonna come tonight?"  
Cecil leered around the fridge door. "I guarantee it. I texted him to say there would be something hot in the kitchen if he wasn't too late."

Earl sneered at the yogurt substitute. "Okay, change of plan. This stuff will make a better batter, I think it might separate if you try to heat it in a pan. Mix it with all the spices and some gram flour and massage it into the rough cut vegetables. Mmhmm, use your fingers, work them right in there. Ooh, that's good. Does it feel good to you?"  
Cecil held up both hands, fingers coated with batter. He sucked one finger slowly, putting it in his mouth as far as the second knuckle and pulling it out with a pop. "Oh that is hot!"  
Earl frowned. "Better wash your hands. There are some places nutmeg ought never to go by accident. Now we can leave that and deep fry the vegetables in batter once Carlos gets here." 

Cecil smiled as he scrubbed at his fingernails. "So all we have to do is wait for Carlos, then we can start?"  
Earl offered Cecil a hand towel. "Sure. It would be rude to start without him."  
"Oh? I don't think he'd mind too much if we had a little taste of what's on offer tonight." Cecil caught Earl shifting his gaze upwards again. "As long as there's plenty left for him too. I'd hate to send him to bed hungry and unsatisfied."  
Earl swallowed. "Uh, yeah. That would be... um... what do you suggest?"  
Cecil smirked at Earl. "You're the chef, Earl, tell me what you think would be a suitable starter. Something that won't ruin our appetites."

Earl reached one hand out and pulled the loose end of the knot at Cecil's side, his other hand palmed at the bulge caused by Cecil's erection. Cecil hissed out a quiet 'yesss.' The apron hung loose from Cecil's neck, Earl lifted it over Cecil's head and dropped it on the floor. He held Cecil's face and kissed him, ran his hands down Cecil's back to his hips, pulling them together and grinding. Cecil walked Earl backwards to the table, pushed his harlequin patterned chef-pants down and sank to his knees.

Carlos sniggered in the doorway. "I see you got too hungry and started without me." Cecil looked up, took his lips away from Earl's cock for just long enough to smile hello. Carlos laughed. "Ceece, honey, I know you said don't be late if I wanted to find something hot on the kitchen table, but I didn't know you meant Earl!"


	12. Respect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen is at her job in the bar when an unexpected and unwelcome guest shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cosleia said: 500/7 Maureen & Cecil
> 
> "Why can't you respect that?"

Maureen bristled as Cecil walked into the bar. She'd thought quitting her internship would mean she'd never have to speak to him again. She thought she had an evening job bartending in a part of town so far away from the radio station that he would never wander in by chance. It was bad enough that Earl came in on his evening off sometimes, if his son had a babysitter, and talked about Cecil-this and Cecil-that.

She thought the chef was a nice guy, but a fool for pining over someone who was so clearly wrapped up in someone else. Figuratively. Oh, and literally, Maureen thought as Carlos the Dork wandered in and jogged a step or two to catch up to Cecil, wrapping his arms around the radio host and planting a kiss on his cheek. She heard him squeak something about parking. Maureen sighed, rolled her eyes and wished for a short shift. Anything, please, intervene and close the bar. Even a Sheriff's Secret Police raid to confiscate their remaining stock of imported weissbier in the keg labelled "Definitely not wheat beer" would be better than having to take orders from Palmer. 

Come on, come on! Maureen closed her eyes and clutched at her bloodstone pendant but no raid saved her from her fate by dishing up a short-order of unemployment. Cecil and Carlos approached the bar and sat on barstools, at right angles around a corner. Jeez, Maureen thought. They're holding hands like they're afraid to let go. 

She approached. "Hi what can I getcha?"  
"Maureen!" Cecil's face lit up and Maureen was almost knocked off guard. "I didn't know you were old enough to tend bar. How are you?" He lowered his head and winked. "And how's Michelle?"  
Even Carlos the Dork smiled at her. "Ooh should I call you the angry lady in the bartender shirt now?"  
Maureen fixed him with a gaze that made him shrink. "You can call me Maureen. Because that is my name. All that time in the desert otherworld and you never even... Oh what's the point." She flicked her focus from Carlos to Cecil and back again. "So, which of you two gentlemen is the designated driver? Oh," Maureen stepped back and smiled as her two patrons frowned at each other. "I'll give you a moment to thrash that one out."

After a minute, Cecil waved Maureen over. She put down the cloth with which she had been scrubbing the bar free of the stains left by a particularly nasty game of cribbage. Cecil smiled. "Carlos has very kindly agreed to be my chauffeur tonight. Isn't that nice of him? Can you pour me a special beer, you know the one that definitely does not contain wheat byproducts, and an oran... ahem. And Carlos would like a mimosa without any champagne in it. Oh, and when Earl gets here he'll probably want... Carlos, what did you say Earl liked? Um, it was a cocktail, right? Oh! _Sex on the beach._ That was it. You said he wanted to try that tonight."  
Maureen gaped and Carlos shifted in his seat. Cecil looked at Carlos, who rested a hand on Cecil's arm and squeezed slightly, shaking his head. Cecil shrugged. "No? Oh well, I guess he'll have beer too before we go for a walk at the Waterfront Recreational Park." 

Maureen poured their drinks and retreated to the far end of the bar. She overheard low conversation and giggles, glanced over to see Cecil with his arms around Carlos and Carlos's head on his shoulder. Carlos's voice was too soft for Maureen to eavesdrop but she could see Cecil's rapt expression clearly. Carlos sat up, slipped down from his bar stool and asked where the restrooms were. 

Maureen edged her way up to Cecil. "So, you're meeting Earl here tonight?"  
"Yes." Cecil grinned. "He said he had a talk with a friendly, helpful barkeep that really tipped him into some major decisions. I mean Steve helped too but you, " Cecil smiled and met Maureen's uncomfortable stare, "I was so surprised that you would speak up for us like that."  
Maureen took a step back. "I... what? I did everything I could to persuade him to stay away from you!"  
Cecil smiled and beckoned Maureen closer. She took a hesitant step forward. Cecil kept his voice low and even.  
"I know, and if it had worked I would have been very angry about that. But Earl decided that moving in with Carlos and me is an arrangement that will fit us. Maybe one day, if you have friends who need you, you might understand. For now, Carlos, Earl and I love each other enough to want to make a supportive family for Roger. Why can't you respect that?"


	13. Ill?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maureen isn't feeling well. Mayor Dana wants to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cosleia said: 500/6 Dana and Maureen in "Music Lovers"
> 
> "How long have you been ill?"

Dana leaned over, face filled with concern, and hissed her question as Maureen settled back into the booth. "How long have you been ill? You were throwing up last week too and you hate ginger. Have you seen a doctor? You should, you know, in case of... ugh... you know what happens if you accidentally swallow throat spiders."

Maureen sipped at her tea, ginger and lemon settled her stomach and replaced some of the fluids she lost heaving in the restroom of the Moonlite. "I'm fine. Really. I have seen a doctor and I am fine."

Dana's unsure frown made Maureen's lips twitch. "Michelle is looking after me as well as she can, I promise."   
"Oh! I know," Dana touched Maureen's forearm, leaning across the table. "I'll ask Trish to make an appointment for you with the City Council's medical examiner. She's real nice and--"  
"No, please don't." Maureen shook her head, smiling. "It's not something Mayor Cardinal needs to concern herself... Oh excuse..."  
Maureen slipped out of the booth and bolted for the restrooms.

"False alarm." Maureen sipped at her tea again, the smell of Dana's coffee overpowering its anti-emetic properties. She gagged, holding a napkin over her mouth and closing her eyes, breathing slowly until the nausea passed. Dana stood and took Maureen's hand.  
"You need fresh air? It's early so it won't be too hot out yet."

Maureen nodded and allowed Dana to lead her outside. They walked up and down the front of the chrome and glass building, Maureen drinking her tea and pulling a face with each bitter mouthful, Dana watching her. "I am going to call Trish. You can't go on feeling so sick. There must be something wrong. Are you eating well? Does Michelle keep you--"  
"Dana, please stop! I'm fine. I'm not ill at all! I'm..."

Dana giggled and hugged her friend. "Oh my glowing cloud, Maureen! How long have you known?"  
Maureen smiled at Dana. "We planned not to tell anyone until I was too big to fit in a booth but I knew you'd figure it out. Promise you won't tell Palmer? You know how he announces everything. I don't want my folks or Michelle's finding out from anyone other than us that there's going to be a new member of the family in about thirty weeks."


	14. Corn muffins and confidantes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos confides in Josie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cosleia said: 500/10 Carlos & Old Woman Josie
> 
> "Is this where we were supposed to be?"

Carlos didn't confide in people. Hard experience had taught him that it was easier to keep quiet about himself, and the wall of self-reliance he built up around his fragility didn't crumble under direct attack. He could take insults, slights, ignorance, hostility, and shrug it all off with his lab-coat at the end of the day. 

Carlos was used to being on his own. He was fine with it, he was a scientist after all, and kept loneliness away with reading and movies and work. He could lose himself for whole evenings in the right kind of fiction, insert himself seamlessly into some author's imaginary world, only resurfacing after the disappointment and grief of turning a page to find the next one blank and the sequel yet unpublished. 

During the day he interacted professionally with his team. He remained a little aloof, he was their boss, and always called them colleague, never friend, suspicious of every attempt to "break the ice" or go "team-building". He left them to it, allowing occasional early finishes so his team could go out to eat, drink and bowl, but never joined in. It would be weird, he told himself, the boss tagging along. He'd put them off, spoil their night.

In his first year in Night Vale, three people launched stealthy campaigns against Carlos's defences. 

Of his team members, Rochelle was the one who eroded her way into his personal space. She did it gradually, by smiling, telling bad jokes, always remembering to ask him how he was, but (and Carlos valued this the most after an initial tantrum) she was the one who calmly warned him when he was in danger of being an asshole. 

Then there was Cecil, that weird guy from the radio. Carlos warmed every time the thought of Cecil's voice or his bright smile crossed his mind. Carlos found his thoughts turning to Cecil more often as months passed. At first irritated by what he perceived as Cecil's relentless mocking, then wary of Cecil's hero-worship, then disbelief that there might be someone who wanted to get to know him, Carlos entertained daydreams of calling Cecil and asking to meet. But his dreams never ended well. He knew he was dull, dates usually ended after an hour or so with the person sitting opposite him looking at their watch and declaring they forgot they had to do something else tonight, they were so sorry but they had to go and of course they would call. 

The third person, Carlos hardly even noticed until he was sitting in her little kitchen eating corn muffins and spilling his heart. Josie did that to people. She was small yet formidable. Her family, she called each one of her surprisingly tall dependants "Erika, my Angel" and they giggled as if it was some kind of family in-joke. Josie was one of the first locals Carlos met. She asked questions as the scientists got ready for their town meeting on that first day, stayed to listen and offered corn muffins afterwards. Carlos encountered Josie often, she said she made a point of knowing what was what in Night Vale and said things that were not exactly questions, but made Carlos talk anyway. Things like, _"I bet you got some great stories to tell about..."_

So Carlos found himself sitting in Josie's kitchen with tea and corn muffins, and Erika examining the dressing on his wound. Erika told him to hold still while they changed the gauze. Josie asked what on Earth made him pick a fight like that. The direct question bounced off his defences. Carlos winced as Erika pulled off the last piece of tape and peeled back the old dressing to reveal shiny new skin, pink and easily damaged. Josie commented that he was healing just fine and added, "I guess you just wanted to show Cecil you care about Night Vale too, huh hon?" 

Carlos smiled. "Maybe. I barely know what I thought. But after, all I thought was about him. How much I wanted to see him after everything. And he came! I thought he wouldn't. And we sat on my car and I thought: _I always feel so out of place, but not here, not now. Is this where we were supposed to be, all of us in the right place after all?"_

Josie leaned back and smiled. "Hun, you could be on to something there."


	15. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos upsets Cecil.  
> Cecil makes it worse.  
> Can they figure out what's actually going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said 503/9 Cecilos
> 
> "That's not what an apology sounds like."

Carlos looked away and grumbled, "Oh I am so _very_ sorry you feel that way."  
Cecil clenched his fists. "That's not what an apology sounds like!"  
Cecil stomped out. Carlos rolled his eyes and sighed. 

\---------

The day started well. _Really_ well. Carlos giggled, pulled his grinning boyfriend back up to head level and kissed his face. "Uh that was unexpected. And nice. Um, can I...?"  
Cecil snorted and rolled out of bed. "No, we have to get up. Earl texted, he'll be here in about fifteen minutes with his & Roger's stuff.  
Carlos groaned and got out of bed. He took a couple of unsteady steps toward the bathroom. He stretched, winced and rubbed his lower back. "I think I pulled something."  
Cecil laughed. "You sure did, honey."

A van arrived outside the small house. Carlos went out to greet Earl and bring in the boxes they had packed the day before. As agreed, Earl borrowed Carlos's car to go to work. Carlos brought boxes in and Cecil unpacked. They began with Roger's room, the easiest since it had empty cupboards that only needed filling with his clothes and toys. Later, they swapped jobs. Cecil carried boxes and Carlos unpacked Earl's things. He put Earl's kitchenware in a cleared-out cupboard labelled _chef's use only_. In the bedroom, Carlos unpacked Earl's clothes and stared at their shared wardrobe. There were some tough decisions to make. Carlos picked some things out, hung and stacked Earl's clothes and called Cecil through.

"We need to get rid of spare stuff we don't need any more to make way for Earl's stuff. I thought we could take these to the charity shop?" Carlos pointed at the pile on the bed whilst trying to make Earl's special occasion dress chef uniform fit in the wardrobe without creasing too much. 

Cecil picked through the garments in silence. Eventually, he spoke.   
"So you think I don't need any of this?"  
Carlos smiled as he turned. "I guess not, you've not worn any of those things for ages. I can get rid of a couple of older lab coats."  
Cecil did not smile. "Why do I have to get rid of so many things and you just ditch old lab coats the charity shop won't even want?"   
Carlos shrugged. "Well, you have more things, honey, so it make sense for you to get rid of more, so we each ditch about the same percentage of our--"  
"That's not fair! Just because I've not worn something for a few months doesn't mean I don't want to keep it! This stuff is great!" Cecil scowled at the pile of clothes.   
Carlos stood up. "But honey, we both need to make sacrifices so that--"  
"Why is my sacrifice bigger than yours? Why can't you get rid of your boring old jeans and plaid shirts? They're all the same! Nobody would notice, you have no sense of style. You look the same every day."

Carlos looked away and grumbled.

\--------------

Carlos found Cecil in the kitchen ten minutes later. He poked his head round the door. "Sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to."  
Cecil shrugged, chin on hands, elbows on table.  
Carlos sat beside him. "How can we fix this, Ceece?"  
Cecil sighed and leaned against Carlos. Carlos put an arm around Cecil.   
"You don't have to get rid of anything."  
Cecil mumbled something through his hands.  
"What did you say, sweetie?"  
Cecil mumbled again, "I'm sorry I was mean."  
Carlos hugged Cecil.  
"You ready to tell me what's really bothering you?"

Cecil shrugged. "I get worried. I mean I want this to work, but you and Earl have so much in common. What if _I'm_ spare?"  
Carlos kissed Cecil's temple and hugged him.   
"We can only make predictions up to a certain limit of accuracy, Ceece, but we steer our lives from the present into the future in a way that makes it unlikely. I mean you and he have history even if you don't remember all of it, and he loves you so much. I love you too, it is the combination of atoms and molecules and chemical reactions and mysterious forces that define _you_ that makes this my home. It is probable that we will have amazing times and awful times and a whole lot of times that are not amazing or awful but are just _us_ existing with each other. And that's great! How exciting, to face our existence together, defined by the limits of the dimensions of this space, and not to know what happens next!"

Cecil rested his head on Carlos's shoulder, Carlos kept one arm around Cecil's shoulders and dropped the other to Cecil's knee. Cecil sighed. "So-o-o, what you are saying is..."  
Carlos smiled. "That maybe we need to get a bigger place."


	16. Location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos comes home with a surprise. Where will they put it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said 508/6 Cecearlos
> 
> "You can choose where we'll put it."

Carlos held it horizontal in front of him, grasped proudly in his hand. "Look what I got!" He giggled.  
Cecil's eyebrows shot up. "Wow! It is very... um... long! Quite the longest one I have ever seen!"  
Earl, recovering the power of speech after initially staring in stunned silence, agreed. "Yes, thick too. It has quite an impressive girth to it. And such a lovely brown shade."

Carlos stroked its full length from base to tip and back again. "Oh, mmm, that feels good. Want to touch it?"  
Cecil reached out a hand and touched it with two fingers below its bulbous top, gently clasped his hand around it's middle. "It's warm!" He smiled. "And there's a slight, silky softness to it's feel, I thought it would be cold and rock hard. It feels lovely. I could stroke it for hours."  
Earl watched Cecil massage it, his clasped hand making back and forth movements with just a little twist. Carlos looked very pleased with himself indeed. Earl cleared his throat.  
"Is it simple to turn it on?"

Carlos laughed. "Oh, so easy. Like you wouldn't believe. See..." Carlos changed his grip and pointed. "If I hold it erect you can probably feel there's a little sensitive area there, just under the top, on the back."  
Earl ran one finger up the long shaft to the point Carlos indicated. Carlos twitched it away. "Stroke it gently, it's real sensitive to too much pressure."  
Earl reached further and massaged the spot Carlos indicated, slow circles with the pad of his thumb and his fingers curling lightly around the shaft, just above where Cecil's hand still stroked.

Carlos sighed in satisfaction. "The only decision left is where to put it. Any ideas, guys?"  
Cecil frowned for a second. "Somewhere the sun don't shine?"  
Earl nodded, but added, "You can choose where we put it. It is yours, after all. I can think of a couple of dark recesses."  
Carlos grinned at Earl. "Ok, let's go up to the bedroom. I think I know exactly which dark recess needs it most."

Carlos led the way, holding it carefully to avoid unnecessary bumps and friction. Cecil and Earl followed close behind. Once in the bedroom, Carlos set his new oak floor-lamp upright in the corner furthest from the window, plugged it in and brushed his index finger over the touch sensitive pad. The bulb lit up and Carlos smiled. "We could put a chair here and have a reading corner in the bedroom! What do you think, guys?"

Earl glanced at Cecil, Cecil glanced at Earl. They both looked at Carlos.  
"Guys?"  
Cecil and Earl grabbed an arm each and pulled Carlos to the bed, tripping him so he fell flat on his back, giggling.  
Cecil smirked, "I know of something else long, with a nice girth and a lovely shade of brown."  
Earl sniggered. "Yeah, I have something hard but also soft and warm and pretty sensitive to pressure."  
Carlos laughed. "Oh come on! Really? I'm not in the mood... Oh! Okay. Maybe I am."  
Earl lay beside Carlos, kissed his neck and massaged his cock through his pants. "Like you said, real easy to turn on."  
Cecil grinned. "I can think of a couple of dark recesses... Carlos? Want to?"  
Carlos sniggered, sat up and removed his shirt. He pointed. "You can choose where we'll put those."


	17. eulogy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl and Cecil decide how to help Night Vale honour their favourite scientist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cosleia said: prompt set 510/8 Cecil and Earl discussing Carlos (sorry)  
> "We want him remembered"

Cecil rubbed his face with both hands and pushed his hair, now completely white, back out of his eyes. He looked up at Earl, watched him bring two mugs of coffee and sit opposite. Neither of them wanted to look at the vacant space to Cecil's right and Earl's left, but neither could help but glance. Earl sighed, "I still feel like I should put a cup there for him."  
Cecil nodded. "I know he's gone but I don't believe it yet. How long does it take? To get over something like this?"  
Earl reached across the table and took Cecil's hand. "Honey, we don't ever. Somehow, we learn to live with a piece missing."

They finished their coffee. Cecil sat back. "I asked Janice to double up and do my show too for another week. She's real popular with the listeners and she's had the same intern for weeks now. I don't feel like talking to my microphone yet."  
Earl nodded. "Okay. Will you be okay here? Roger could come over with the grandkids."  
Cecil smiled, "It's always good to see them, but I'll be fine. I'm going to City Hall. I decided we should have a memorial. He was a hero, after all. I think Mayor Dana will agree."  
Earl nodded his iron grey curls. "We want him remembered."

\----------------

Janice shuffled her notecards into order one more time. She looked at the elderly man next to her. "Uncle Earl, you ready?" Earl nodded and patted Janice's arm. Beyond Earl, Cecil fiddled with the end of his braid and bit his lip. Janice wheeled herself up to the microphone.

"Listeners, this special show comes to you live from the great hall of one of our most prestigious educational facilities. Welcome to Night Vale Community College, where I will report on a very intricate and difficult dedication ceremony. With me, I have Night Vale's longest serving Voice, who will always be plain old Uncle Cecil to me, and home-grown celebrity chef, Earl Harlan, star of Channel Six shows such as _Seriously, dude, you gonna eat that?_ and _Fusion Confusion, when restaurants go wrong."_

"Without further ado, I will hand you over to the Voice himself, Cecil Palmer. Come on up, Uncle Cecil!"  
Cecil stood and walked to the microphone. An intern fiddled with the height adjustment but Cecil stopped him and brought his chair over instead. The audience muttered. A few isolated ripples of applause died of embarrassment, unsure if clapping was bad form.

"Ha! Hello listeners and welcome to Night Vale. I hope you will indulge me in this unusual position for public address, only I am so used to speaking to my microphone from my mixing desk in my booth that to stand would feel unnatural. That, and I will admit to a certain degree of wear and tear in my joints. 

"Thank you, Janice, for sitting in for me for these past few weeks. It has been a difficult time for the Harlan-Palmer-Scientist family and we have all, at one point or another, felt like the weight of grief would drag us under to drown. Yet here we are, smaller somehow, but surviving.

"No-one, not even Carlos, remembers exactly when he arrived in Night Vale, but we are all glad that some random happenstance brought him to us. I remember clearly... very little if I am honest, but I remember going out to bring you a report about a team of scientists who took over the lab next to Big Rico's, now Little Rico's. I saw Carlos and I thought he was perfect. He smiled at me, flicked his perfect and beautiful hair from his eyes, and I fell in love. Instantly. I kept my hopeless crush secret..." The audience laughed. Earl rolled his eyes.  
"Carlos the Scientist did so much for our community. Seriously, you don't know the half of it. Because of Carlos, we are not all buzzing, questionably sentient haze-entities. Because of Carlos, Night Vale was saved from the smiling god. It was Carlos who started our Desert Bluffs voice, Kevin, on his path to recovery and us on our path to forgiveness." The audience grumbled. "Most of us. Kevin is not able to join us this evening but he promises to attend the Night Vale-Desert Bluffs beatboxing and ballet pairs championship next month, to be held at the Night Vale New Old Opera House. He says he was pretty good, in his day, and that he and Vanessa have been rehearsing like crazy. Carlos, I am sure, would have loved to attend such a spectacle. Tickets are available from any of the beings named Erika who are patrolling the exits. You would be well advised to purchase one soon."

Cecil waited while audience members looked around fearfully and produced their wallets. He continued when Josie, sharp eyes peering out of a face like a raisin, gave him a nod. 

"My most enduring memory of Carlos is his enthusiasm for science. Many of you know him as a quiet man. Haha. He would talk about science when he was happy, when he was nervous, when he was unhappy and it would cheer him up. He would forget to eat and sleep because of science. Time is not real, he told me often, mostly when he was late."

"Many of you will remember Carlos for his kindness. It was his defence of the tiny underground civilisation, whom he perceived to be harmless and undeserving of vigilante justice, that led to the near-death experience that made Carlos realise there was more to life than science. He chose to live rather than merely exist." Cecil paused and swallowed. He stared at the microphone, refusing eye contact with anyone in his audience. He closed his eyes for two seconds and opened them again. "He chose to live with us. With me. And I am thankful for the decades we shared."

Cecil sat back in his chair. Janice wheeled up beside him, resisting the urge to hug her uncle and cause his facade to crack and seep.  
"Thank you Cecil. I would like to invite celebrity chef Earl Harlan to the microphone to say a few words before the ceremony begins. Uncle Earl?"

Earl stepped forward. He put one hand on Cecil's shoulder and reached for the microphone with the other. "Thank you Janice, thanks Ceece. I met Carlos through my friendship with Cecil. Look, I'm not big with words. You've seen my shows, right?" A few audience members giggled. "Most of the words I use there are not appropriate in this sombre setting. When I met Carlos, I wanted to hate him. But he wouldn't let me, he kept being so darn nice! He taught me stuff about love..."  
Earl waited for the audience to stop sniggering, and gave a theatrical eye-roll, "...not like that. He taught me, without even trying, that love does not arrive with care labels or an instruction manual. You gotta take it where you find it, take care of it best you can and that's enough for it to thrive. Anyway, I'm gonna keep this short because my restaurant did the catering and we made all Carlos's favourite dishes. I declare this dedication ceremony has begun."

Janice resumed her place at the microphone. Earl and Cecil returned to their seats where Cecil sat with his head on Earl's shoulder. Janice raised her hand for silence. "Please hold your bloodstone in your left hand..."

After a series of incantations led by Janice and Josie, Earl and Cecil were invited back up to unveil their memorial to Carlos. They each took one corner of the gold fabric sheet and wafted it off the wall-plaque. 

**Welcome to the Carlos the Scientist Science Laboratory for Super Scientific Stuff**

Cecil smiled at Earl, Earl smiled back. The audience clapped politely. Janice declared the reception open and people filed out for free refreshments, at least those with beatbox-ballet tickets did. Those without were kept back and allowed out last. Janice, Cecil and Earl were joined by Steve.  
"Hey, lovely speeches, you did a good job." Steve hugged Earl and opened his arms to Cecil. Cecil shrugged but did not make any threatening moves. "So, let's see, you got the Carlos the Scientist bench in Grove Park, by the tree you insisted on putting it under, you have the Carlos the Scientist box at the Opera House, the Carlos the Scientist wing of the Vansten Library where readers have special dispensation to wear lab coats embroidered with Carlos's name instead of being nude like Erika insists, there is the Carlos the Scientist function room upstairs at Little Rico's, the Carlos the Scientist "What Even Is The Moon" exhibition at the Museum of Forbidden Technologies, the Carlos the Scientist dedicated booth at the Moonlite where diners may only have his favourite coffee and pie, the _Carlos the Scientist Was Here_ plaques all over town at places he liked to visit and now the new college science labs are all named after Carlos."  
Cecil and Earl nodded. Steve sighed. "Guys, don't you think you've done enough?"

Earl smiled and pointed Steve in the direction of the buffet. When he was gone, Earl turned to Cecil. "So, do you think we should tell him about the Carlos the Scientist statue that's going up next month in the entrance to the dog park?"


	18. Finished.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie often sees Cecil as she grows up, and she helps him with a writing project until he's... done. 
> 
> So done.
> 
> Not that he will ever remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said 510/10 little Josie Ortiz talking to Cecil about something he will later forget
> 
> "I never finished the novel"

Josie smiled and laughed, reclining on the sofa, glass of blueberry lemonade in hand, exercise book filled with neat handwriting on her lap. She turned the page, read a few lines and giggled.  
"Cecil, are you sure I oughtta be readin' this stuff? I am only twelve, y'know."  
Cecil grinned. "Oh there's nothing real rude in there, I promise. If you see any spelling mistakes or any passages that don't make sense, just holler. I've read it over so many times and done so many drafts I can't tell the difference any more between what's on the page and what's in my head. Want more lemonade?"  
Josie nodded and held out her glass. "I like when you babysit. Feels like I'm here just to hang out. You don't treat me like some kid."  
Cecil frowned as he took the glass. "I have no idea how to treat kids like kids. Aren't you all just, I dunno, short grownups?"  
Josie looked up. "No, you're an adult. Old. I mean you must be at least twenty. I bet you got life all sussed out."  
Cecil left the living room and headed to the kitchen, laughter shaking his shoulders.

\----------

Cecil opened the door wide. "Little Josie! Come on in." He grinned. "I got another chapter for you."  
Josie scowled. "Hey, less of the little Josie crap. I was fourteen last week and I don't need a babysitter."  
Cecil frowned. "But I thought you were here to hang out?"  
Josie stood on the doormat, head to one side. "Uh. Yeah."  
Cecil stood back and waved Josie in. "You want some lemonade?"  
Josie put on the smile adults always liked to see. "Did you make it yourself?"  
"No. And don't grin like that, it's creepy." Cecil aped Josie's fake, toothy smile.  
"I know, right? Yeah in that case I'd like some lemonade." Josie settled on the sofa and picked up Cecil's notebook.

Josie frowned as she read, pencil between her teeth. After her third lemonade, she put the notebook and the pencil down.  
"I marked a couple of spelling mistakes and I think there's a continuity error. But..."  
Cecil looked up from his knitting. "But what?"  
Josie studied the cover of the notebook, traced with a finger the elaborate script 'A Novel by Cecil Gershwin Palmer'. "Umm, I liked that character, the one you killed off. She was kinda nice, upbeat. Did you have to get rid of Esperanza?"  
Cecil nodded. "Yes. It matters later in the story when you find out what killed her."  
Josie nodded. "I see. Will it turn out to be Consilio? He's an ass. He does stupid, selfish things."  
Cecil smiled and shrugged. "He's not stupid, he's doing everything he can to stay in power."  
Josie sighed. "I know it's your story and all, but please can you not kill her? Leave the remotest chance that she's still alive and might come back?"  
Cecil smiled and packed away his yarn. "If you think that will make my story better, of course I will do that. Are you allowed coffee?"

\-------------

Josie opened the package, peeling up one corner slowly and peering inside before slitting the top open. She upended it and a notebook slid out onto the table. There was a note inside, on the last written-on page. Not in Cecil's best cursive script, but in a barely legible scribble.

_Keep safe until I ask for it, C x_

Josie opened her bag, took out her largest textbook - _What Even Is Opera (A Beginners Guide)._ She used a craft knife to cut and hollow out a notebook-sized recess in the Wagner section. Once the notebook was safely stowed in its new home, Josie glued the book shut and put it on her shelf. Later, Josie tuned in to Cecil's show only to hear Leonard back from retirement. He said he was just filling in to help out the new Voice of Night Vale but did not offer any explanation of why the Voice was indisposed. 

Next day, Josie walked the long way home from college, past the Palmer household. She knocked on the door. Minutes passed with out a reply. She knocked again and put her ear to the warm wooden surface. There was definitely movement inside. Josie knocked again. The door lock clunked and the door pulled back an inch. Josie pushed it open slowly and went in.

"Hey Cecil, ya okay hun? I got worried when you weren't on the radio. Oh!"  
Josie dropped her bag at the sight of Cecil, bruised and swollen, holding a finger over his misshapen lips. He beckoned her into the living room, lowered himself slowly onto the sofa and mumbled, "Hey Josie! Lemonade..."  
"In the fridge. I know, I'll get it myself today."

Josie placed a glass of lemonade for herself and a mug of coffee for Cecil on the table.  
"What happened, Ceece? The truth, now, I'm a nineteen year old college kid with an overactive imagination so I will make up something even worse in my head if you hold back anything."  
Cecil tried to laugh but clutched at his ribs and groaned. "Ugh, I mentioned to my intern that I was writing a novel and we discussed plot, characters and allegory. He was real interested! Next day I got a call inviting me to take it to the Sheriff's office for official approval. Yeah. I went and explained the truth that," Cecil raised his voice with difficulty, "I BURNED IT because it was no good." Josie frowned. Cecil caught her eye and shook his head, finger over his lips again. "The police thought I was lying and tried to make me tell them where it was. I said to look in the barbecue pit out back and they'd find paper ash. I guess they were feeling a little like blowing off steam that afternoon. You know how it is."

Josie sipped her drink and put it down in an act of careful control over her own reactions. "I think," she suggested, "you should probably get a different intern. When do you expect to be _back to normal?"_  
"Oh," Cecil shrugged, causing another hiss at the pain in his ribs. "I'll do my show again in two weeks, I should look pretty normal in a month or so, but just to be safe I won't resume all of my _usual activities_ for, hmm, three months. Hey let's talk about you instead."  
Josie nodded and smiled. "I went bowling with a friend from college. At least I think they're a friend and they always seem to be around me at college. They're called Erika. You should meet them, I bet you'd get along like a house on fire."  
Cecil grinned or grimaced. It was difficult to tell. "Complete with flames and sirens and people screaming?"

\-------------

Josie held the notebook out. Cecil frowned at it. "What's this?'"  
"It's your novel. You posted it to me a month ago in a package labelled _Big Biting Spiders - do not open_ and said to bring it round after your stay in hospital." Josie walked into Cecil's house and headed for the kitchen. "Got any lemonade?"  
Cecil followed. "Yeah, um, I don't know why because I hate the stuff, but I had such a strong compulsion to buy some at the store. Glad you like it... Uh, when was I in hospital?"  
Josie looked at Cecil from around the fridge door, a slight downturn of her lips and a line between her eyebrows. "Last couple of weeks. You got out two days ago just as the new crackdown on writing implements came into force. Don'tcha remember? Oh, there's a pen amnesty, want me to hand yours in for you?"  
"Who said I was in hospital? Josie, you're thirty and too old to be freaking old Cecil out with stories. Last time it was angels called Erika, this time it's a hospital stay I have..." Cecil waved his hands, "...mysteriously forgotten. No, I was in Europe for a while."  
Josie watched Cecil's face as she downed a glass of lemonade and helped herself to a refill. "Huh, I must have gotten mixed up, hun. Whatever. I had your notebook and I brought it back to you. Did you have a nice time in Europe?"  
Cecil's face lit up. "Come through, I'll make coffee and tell you all about my trip. You'd love Luftnarp!"

\---------------

Cecil opened the notebook that had lain ignored under his sofa for weeks. He frowned at it, flipping through pages without reading anything. The handwriting was definitely his, and Josie's corrections and suggestions decorated the margins with spidery pencil lines. He flicked back to the beginning and started to read. He sat for forty minutes, absorbing words and double-meanings, then slapped it shut and threw it across the room. He sweated and shook and did not know why. 

He forced himself to focus, breathing, eyes closed, counting slowly back from one hundred, naming animals in order from anteater to zebra. Once calm, Cecil stood, picked up the notebook, took it out into the yard and burned it.

Josie caught up with him a few days later when he went to watch league night from the relative safety of the Desert Flower bar area. She saw him, waved and called out, "Hey Cecil, step in. There's a gap in my team. Someone accused Erika of cheatin' and they took it outside, ya know? Can ya bowl?"  
Cecil walked over and smiled. "I don't know, I never tried. If you show me I'll give it a go."  
Josie punched his arm. "That's the spirit, Palmer! How's your, um, reading material?"  
Cecil sighed. "I thought it best if I never finished the novel. It makes no sense and it is too complicated and why would anyone do all those awful things! It was depressing."  
Josie offered her friend a hug. "Hey, cheer ya up, beer and movie night after we lose this game? There's a film about sharks at the cinema in town. I predict ya gonna like it."


	19. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos brings the lab pet home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon said: 511/9&10 Cecilos
> 
> "You're turning purple"  
> "He has an allergy"
> 
> Dear anon, I don't know whether you wanted two fics or one, but these fitted very well with a snek discussion on tumblr.

Carlos opened the front door, flipped up a corner of the doormat to stop it from closing again and jogged back to his car. He gently lifted out the large perspex tank, made cooing noises at it, grinned and carried it slowly into the house. He set it down in the hallway.   
"Ceece? Cecil? You home?" Carlos called into silence.   
"Oh well, it's just you and me, sweetpea," Carlos huffed as he lifted the tank once more and carried it into the spare room. He chatted to his new pet while he unrolled the heat mat, tested it with the back of his hand and set the tank on top. "There ya go, honey. New home. Hungry?"   
The occupant of the tank didn't even blink.

Cecil came home to find Carlos humming happily in the kitchen, apron on and pan bubbling on the hob. Carlos turned when he heard the fridge door open and Cecil uncap two bottles of beer.  
"Hey welcome home, sweetie!" Carlos offered a hug and a kiss and got beer in return. "Had a good day?"  
Cecil shrugged. "Busy, you know, community stuff. The PTA meeting was fun, though, Steve brought scones despite his warning last time. He doesn't get that the Sheriff's Secret Police will turn a blind eye to small quantities of wheat products that are clearly for personal use only, but will be less than understanding about a catering box containing three dozen mixed parmesan and rosemary scones and a sign up sheet for future orders."  
Carlos laughed. "I know. Um, I made vegetable and herb hotpot." Carlos looked at the ceiling and scratched the back of his neck. "I thought we could have it with, um, rosemary scones."  
Cecil perked up immediately. "You learned to make scones? That is so neat!"  
Carlos felt only a little guilty about the slightly beery kiss he received in reward for having somehow acquired scones.

Cecil left his half full beer on the table and went to get changed. Carlos turned the hob off and put a lid on the pan. A yell from the spare room made Carlos jump and swear.  
"Ceece, you okay?" Carlos stood at the door of the spare room. "Oh! I forgot to tell you I was bringing Fluffy home while we get the place cleaned. She's real pretty, isn't she?"  
Cecil pointed. "That's a... a... um, Carloswhyisthereasnakeinthehouse?"  
Cecil backed into Carlos. Carlos laughed. "Oh she's not dangerous as long as she's warm enough but not too hot, and well fed! Sweetie, look at her, she's got such a lovely pattern, all purple and black rings and silver in between. Isn't she cute?"  
Cecil calmed down when Carlos demonstrated that the snake could not escape its tank. He shook his head then fixed Carlos with a stare.  
"Fluffy? Really?"

After dinner, Cecil was more relaxed about Fluffy and said he would watch while Carlos fed her. Carlos led Cecil into the spare room, opened a plastic tub and showed Cecil Fluffy's meal. Cecil was not impressed by the mostly defrosted lizard sloshing in a pool of its own meltwater. He gave the dead lizard a look of disgust.  
"Seriously, you bring a guest creature into our home and feed it... that?"  
Carlos frowned. "She eats lizards, about one or two per week. She seems happy enough with defrosted ones as far as I can discern her likes and dislikes. At least, she eats them and doesn't complain."  
Fluffy sensed the presence of something edible and waved her tongue around. Cecil pointed. "Ooh look, Carlos, Fluffy blew you a raspberry!"  
Cecil watched, transfixed, as Carlos dropped the lizard into the tank. Fluffy uncoiled and slithered over to where it lay upside down on the gravel. She opened her mouth and, with a sickening series of shakes, jerks and gulps, the lizard was no more than a slight bulge, gradually disappearing.

Fluffy enjoyed the luxury of being almost completely ignored for the rest of the week. Carlos checked the temperature twice daily, Cecil checked the tank remained occupied far more often but did not disturb their guest. On Saturday afternoon, sitting out in the yard, Cecil with a beer and a book, Carlos with a notebook and a hand lens carefully drawing the structure of the crystals in the grey-pink rocks in their desiccated plot. Cecil watched the little brown lizards coming out of the shadows to warm up then dart away at the slightest hint of movement or shadow.

Cecil drained his beer and shook out the dregs. He moved almost imperceptibly towards the reptiles' favourite sunny surface and waited. The first time, Cecil's tumbler hit the rock and a puff of dust betrayed the lizard's rapid exit. He waited. The second time Cecil got closer to his aim but his prey squeezed out of a gap where the smooth plastic tumbler did not meet a dip in the uneven rock surface. The third time Cecil's tumbler thumped down on the rock, a lizard was trapped.  
"Carlos! Hey, Carlos!" Cecil called over.  
Carlos did not move at all. "Five minutes, honey, kinda in the middle of something."   
Cecil smiled. He could deal with this himself. He looked around for his book, grabbed it with one hand, shook off the dust-jacket declaring the book to be an official biography of Helen Hunt, revealing the book to be an unapproved copy of 'True Grit'. Cecil slid the dust-jacket under the tumbler and carried the trapped lizard indoors.

Carlos was jarred from his geological analysis of their backyard by a scream. He dropped his lens and notepad and ran into the house. In the spare room, Fluffy's hatch was open and Cecil stood clutching his hand.  
"Ceece, what happened? Are you okay?" Carlos closed Fluffy's hatch and put his arms around Cecil. "Oh! Your heart is beating really fast. Tell me exactly what happened, one thing at a time and in the correct order."  
Cecil swallowed and turned wide open eyes on Carlos. "I caught a lizard and brought it in to feed Fluffy. As soon as Fluffy saw there was live, warm lunch, she dived for it and bit my finger."  
Carlos hugged Cecil. "Aw honey, you poor thing!"  
Cecil swore. "The fucking lizard crapped on me and escaped."  
Carlos tried very hard not to laugh and almost succeeded. Cecil was unamused. He held out his hand. "Look!"  
Carlos frowned. "Oh, that's swelling up, look, around the wound. You're turning purple! I'll drive you to... um... Teddy or the hospital?" Cecil shook his head at both options. Carlos cajoled. "Come on, I can see the purple spreading under your skin. Hospital."

During the drive, Cecil's finger swelling and discolouration spread to his whole hand so that it looked like he was wearing an inflated purple nitrile lab glove. By the time they got to the front of the line in the ER, Cecil couldn't bend his wrist, and his forearm was puffy and tinged with violet and mauve. Carlos spoke for him at the reinforced reception window because Cecil's normally clear speech was slurred and indistinct, and he seemed to be having trouble staying awake.   
Cecil tripped and fell, unable to get up. The triage nurse glared at Carlos and demanded to know if alcohol was the root cause of Cecil's problems, making Carlos feel an uncommon flare of anger as he described Fluffy. Carlos bit his tongue, the nurse looked like they had been on duty for an illegal number of hours. Cecil was picked up, dumped on a gurney and wheeled away, while Carlos was prevented from following on the grounds that he was not family. 

Carlos decided not to square up to the security guard. He sat on a plastic chair and took out his phone, until the receptionist knocked on the shatterproof partition and glared at him, pointing at the No Phones sign on the wall. Carlos sat. And sat. And fidgeted. And bothered the receptionist every fifteen minutes, he timed it by the clock on the wall that seemed to be slowing down. And found some loose change for the coffee machine. And sat. And...

A figure in a cleaner lab coat than Carlos's came into reception from behind the guarded door. "Professor Scientist? Is Professor Scientist--"  
"HERE!" Carlos leapt up and followed the doctor into a side room. The doctor pointed to a sofa. Carlos sat, looking at the furniture. The room was made up like a clinical kind of living room, with a sofa and an armchair, some still-life prints in clip-frames on the wall, two boxes of paper tissues and a wastebasket on the little coffee table, beside some potpourri that had long lost its scent. Carlos took a deep breath.  
"Is he okay?"  
The doctor frowned then looked around and smiled. "He will be. Sorry to bring you into the rellies room like this, always makes people think the worst is happening. Mr Palmer will be fine in a few days. Um, we want to keep him overnight but we need permission to do further treatment. He nominated you to sign as next of kin."   
"What's wrong with him? That swelling..."  
"Ha! Yes. The snake venom gave him the slurring and coordination problems but I bet you know all about neurotoxins, since you are such a brilliant and beautiful scientist with perfect hair..." The doctor smirked at Carlos. "He got quite talkative... Oh! Hey, Professor... Uh..." 

Carlos grabbed the box of tissues the doctor pushed at him. He sobbed for minutes and mopped his face. Eventually he calmed himself. "I thought--"  
"Hush, no, he's fine. We gave him anti-venom for the Night Vale Purple Banded Coral Snake and some antihistamines for the swelling he got because he has an allergy to lizard droppings. We need you to sign your permission for further medication and his overnight stay. You can probably take him home tomorrow afternoon."

Carlos picked Cecil up next day at three-fifteen. He insisted on pushing Cecil in a hospital wheelchair, arm bandaged and in a sling, right up to the car door, doing stunt wheelies like he did with Janice, making Cecil giggle. In the car, in their own driveway, Cecil put his hand on Carlos's arm.  
"You saved my life, Carlos. 'Thanks' seems lame."  
"Technically that was the ER team, not me, but you are welcome."  
"Is Fluffy okay?"  
"Um, Fluffy is at Rochelle's place now. And I made sure the lizard is gone and I cleaned the spare room completely. And all the other rooms. Just in case any other lizards got in."   
Cecil smiled, leaned over and kissed Carlos. Carlos smiled.  
"I thought... never mind. Lets go in, get settled... oh! There's beer and a movie. Are you allowed alcohol on those drugs? We better check, scientific studies might have shown negative interactions between those and ethanol. I want to look after you properly until you have fully recovered."  
They got out of the car and went inside. Cecil laughed at the place, everything gleamed. 

Much later, after junk food and beer and two Lee Marvin movies, Carlos lay back on the sofa with Cecil in his arms, half asleep. Carlos kissed Cecil's head.  
"Y'know babe, they said I wasn't family. Then you said I was your next of kin. Then the doctor said I was family after all. And I thought I'd lost you. I mean really lost you, you know?" Cecil remained still. Carlos smiled and kissed him again on the top of his head. "This is totally unscientific because I have not thought about it for nearly long enough, family means so many things, but I want to ask you something real big. Huge, subjectively, for me. I think it is time for us to be a family. Cecil Gershwin Palmer? Cecil? Ceece?"  
Cecil snored gently. Carlos laughed, hugged him and woke him up.   
"Wh... wha... uh?" Cecil yawned and stretched, turned and kissed Carlos. "Sorry I drifted off. Were you saying something important?"  
Carlos smiled. "Hey, nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. C'mon, Time isn't real but to me it feels like way beyond bedtime."


	20. Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos has been acting really _weird_ lately.  
>  Rochelle and Dave have a plan to find out what's wrong.  
> And simply asking the guy is not their style at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon said: 512/2 Cecilos
> 
> "what's the diagnosis?"

Rochelle smirked at Dave over the autoclave. She considered the question Dave had just yelled at her over the machine's hiss, and shrugged. She waited for the machine to beep that it had finished its cycle before her reply.  
"I dunno what's up with Carlos, but if we look at the evidence I bet we can reach a conclusion."

Dave frowned. "He's not eating properly. I made his favourite garlic tofu bites and he didn't have any this morning."  
Rochelle's head snapped up from her work. "Oh? So there are some left? Awesome!"  
"Mmm, fridge, next to the unused agar." Dave warmed at the appreciation of his snack-making abilities. "I don't think he's sleeping well either, last night I heard him upstairs walking around. Kept me awake too until I texted to ask him to consider his sleep-deprived downstairs neighbour and stop it."  
"Huh." Rochelle stroked her chin. "He's keeping pretty quiet about his whereabouts sometimes. Know how he usually yells, 'see you later I'm going to the house that does not exist,' or, 'back in an hour there's a really interesting patch of void in the wall at the Moonlite,' and stuff like that?" Dave nodded out an uh-huh, Rochelle continued, "He's been going out more without telling anyone where he's headed. It's not like our Carlos to be so secretive."

Dave made coffee and took the snacks out of the fridge for Rochelle.  
"Y'know, I bet there's stuff on his computer."  
Rochelle put her hands over her face, mouth wide open and eyebrows high in mock-horror.  
"You are NOT suggesting breaking into Carlos's computer, are you?"  
Dave smiled. "Don't need to, I guessed his password right at the start. Don't let on, it's real useful to be able to get a heads up on what's going on around here."  
Rochelle frowned but nodded. "Lunchtime, when everyone else is out? The boss's office?"  
Dave grinned. "See you there at one, sharp." 

Once the other three team members had left to eat their lunch in the park, Rochelle and Dave locked the outer door and snuck into Carlos's office. Dave opened Carlos's laptop waited for the login screen to load and typed 'Science1' into the password box.  
"Oh! He's changed it! I'll try again in case I typed it wrong."  
Dave repeated the password with the same lack of positive result. Rochelle stopped him from trying again. "I bet he has it set up to lock you out if you put the password in wrong three times. We need to think. He changed it recently, you reckon?"  
Dave nodded. "Yu-huh, I last spied on his lab reports about a couple weeks ago. What happened that might have made him change his password? I mean he got injured but--"  
Dave was cut off by Rochelle's giggling. "Move over, I have an idea."  
Rochelle shared the chair with Dave and angled the laptop so she could type comfortable. Her fingers made eight clicks before hitting enter. After a few seconds, Carlos's desktop appeared.  
"Hey it worked! For reference, Dave, Carlos's password is now "Cecil123'. Where should we look?"

Dave suggested email. Rochelle shook her head. "No, too personal. If I ever catch you reading MY emails I will ram my laptop--"  
"Okay! I promise I have never snooped in your mail account. What if we just had a quick glance at his inbox?" Dave turned his most pleading expression on Rochelle. "Not actually open any of the messages?" Rochelle rolled her eyes. "You know you want to!"  
Rochelle nodded and clicked Carlos's mail icon.

They looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and opened one email conversation. 

\------------------

My dear Carlos,  
I was so happy to get your reply! Do you  
remember the coffeeshop where you told  
me time was slowing down? I usually go  
there at 11am. If you are too busy with  
important science work, maybe we could  
meet later in the evening? Dinner?  
C x 

| Hi Cecil,  
| sorry I took ages to reply again, we had  
| a spider problem. I am emailing for  
| personal reasons. Can we meet?  
| Carlos x  
|  
| | I heard that too! I thought it was just my  
| | ears playing tricks on me again. Do  
| | you like jazz? Michelle at Dark Owl  
| | Records is trying to get Bix  
| | Beiderbecke back for a retrospective.  
| | We could go, if you like.  
| | C x  
| |  
| | | Hi Cecil,  
| | | Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I needed a  
| | | few days to think.  
| | | Plus, there was this real fascinating  
| | | noise coming from the desert. Sounded  
| | | like trumpets playing jazz.  
| | | Carlos x  
| | |  
| | | | Hi,  
| | | | That makes perfect sense.  
| | | | I am here if you need anything.  
| | | | You don't have to talk.  
| | | | C x  
| | | | p.s. anything at all  
| | | |  
| | | | | No, not at all!  
| | | | | I am sorry I gave you that impression.  
| | | | | Scientifically speaking, I am not in any  
| | | | | condition to make decisions right now.  
| | | | | Carlos x  
| | | | |  
| | | | | | Oh, have I upset you?  
| | | | | | If I have, it was by accident.  
| | | | | | C  
| | | | | |  
| | | | | |  
| | | | | | | Hi Cecil,  
| | | | | | | Thank you for your email, it is nice of  
| | | | | | | you to ask.  
| | | | | | | I am feeling much better today but I  
| | | | | | | do not feel like talking.  
| | | | | | | I hope you understand.  
| | | | | | | Warm regards,  
| | | | | | | Carlos  
| | | | | | |  
| | | | | | | | Hi Carlos, how are you feeling this  
| | | | | | | | morning? Call me if you like, I'm  
| | | | | | | | working but I'm not on the air  
| | | | | | | | so I can answer any time.  
| | | | | | | | C x 

\------------

Dave and Rochelle looked at each other and giggled. Rochelle closed down the laptop.  
"Symptoms: off his food, not sleeping, pacing the floor at night, keeping secret about where he's going," Rochelle listed, "and some emails."  
Dave winked. "Turned down garlic before meeting Cecil 'for coffee'. Okay doctor, what's the diagnosis?"  
Rochelle sighed and clutched her chest over her heart. "Dave, I am very sorry, the prognosis is poor. Carlos... Our beloved Carlos is in luuuurve!"


	21. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger admits to some name-calling at school.  
> How will dad and his uncles react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon said: 513/7 Cecearlos
> 
> "But who do I fight?"

Cecil shook his frame, loosening from the shoulders. He twisted and stretched and finished with a few bounces on the spot. In the doorway behind Cecil, Earl frowned. "Ceece, you worried about something? You only do that when you're real tense. Bad day?"  
Cecil whirled around to face Earl. "Oh! I didn't know you were home. Hey! are we all home this evening? Carlos will be back with Roger soon." Cecil grinned hopefully. "A family night would be neat!"  
Earl smiled and accepted Cecil's deflection. "Sure, and it's your turn to cook. Which take out should I call?"  
"Rude!" Cecil threw a cushion at Earl. Earl let it hit him, picked it up and looked at Cecil, grinning. "You want a fight, mister?"  
Cecil laughed, took the cushion back and kissed Earl lightly on the lips. "Not now, you know I fight to lose, honey, and there just isn't time."  
Earl hugged Cecil. "I know you don't want to talk about it but I can tell you had a rough day. I'll pre-order something so there's no cooking and no cleaning and we can all sit and eat out of cartons and watch trash. Okay?"  
Cecil held on to Earl. "Mmm. You're a real neat guy."

The door banged open and closed again, scuffling suggested the removal of footwear in the hall, and Roger's feet thumped up to his room. Carlos entered the living room and grinned.  
"You two are real cute!" He walked over and threw an arm around each of them. "Bad day, Ceece? Station management or another intern?"  
Cecil's voice came muffled from Earl's shoulder. "Mmm. Intern. Freak accident down at the chemicals plant. Ugh. I sent her to cover a story about some new material that molds itself to the shape of whatever it touches. She took a handful and... Ugh." Carlos kissed Cecil's visible cheek. "Still, at least her parents don't have to fork out for a statue."  
Carlos met Earl's gaze and they both looked away and hugged a little tighter.

"Eww gross, dad, can I borrow Uncle Carlos for homework help?" Roger's voice called from the living room door. Carlos smiled.  
"Be right there."  
Cecil laughed. "Hey, why do you never ask your dad or me to help?"  
Roger shrugged. "Uncle Carlos never tells me I'm big enough to work it out myself, or that there are some things we're just not supposed to know and it's better that way."  
"Don't make it too easy for him, Carlos!" Earl smiled and kissed Carlos. "Welcome home, by the way. Take out tonight."  
"Oh?" Carlos winked. "I deduce it must be Cecil's turn in the kitchen."  
"Oh cool!" Roger almost yelled in excitement. "Can we get dino bites? Only Janice said they're made from real dinosaur."  
Two pairs of eyes scrutinised Cecil's face. He shrugged. "Well if they don't want people to think that, call them reformed, mechanically recovered meat, water injected, shaped and fried slurry bites."  
"Changed my mind," Roger sang out, dumping his books on the dining table. "Uncle Carlos? I can't do question four. It's supposed to be math but there are letters in it."

Carlos's face lit up, Earl and Cecil both laughed at him. Earl fetched the take out menus from the drawer and sat with Cecil on the sofa, leafing through and choosing dinner. By the time questions four through ten had been beaten, dinner was ordered and Cecil was calmly reading the Channel6 TV guide. Carlos waved at Earl.  
"Hey, I think you should hear what Roger told me between questions eight and nine." Carlos put a hand on the boy's shoulder and looked at him. "Roger, you want to say it or you want me to say it?"

Roger looked up at Carlos then over at his dad.  
"Um, some kid in another class said I was... called me some real bad names because I had _three sissy-boy dads who..._ Um, it got bad again after that. I wasn't gonna say anything but Uncle Carlos asked how school was and I think Janice overheard it too and I bet she'll tell Uncle Steve."  
Carlos hugged Roger. Earl got up and ruffled his hair. "You did right to tell me, son. You okay?"  
Roger nodded. "Can I go watch TV with Uncle Cecil now?" Earl smiled and nodded. Roger launched himself at the sofa with a _wheeeee!_ , landing beside Cecil, making explosion sounds. Cecil laughed and handed him the remote. Carlos and Earl retreated to the kitchen. Roger bumped Cecil with his elbow. "Uncle Cecil, I didn't really want to tell dad. It just kind of slipped out with Uncle Carlos. What do you think he'll do? I don't want to cause a fuss and make it worse for myself."  
Cecil punched Roger's arm. "Oh, I think you should trust your dad and not worry too much. He knows how to look after himself, and us." 

Nobody mentioned it again until after dinner, after Roger's official bedtime, after Roger's unofficial super-extended bedtime and after Earl checked he was asleep. Carlos suggested calling the school and letting them sort it out, but Earl said they didn't respond to phone calls. Cecil suggested hosting a phone-in with a prize for whoever came up with useful information but Earl said nobody wanted an _I won a thing_ pencil. Earl said Roger told him which class the offensive youngster came from and a vague description, but not enough to identify anyone. 

It was Cecil who voiced what they all thought but were concerned about saying out loud.  
"Maybe, Earl, the boy should be allowed to defend himself?"  
Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Send him to capoeira or jujitsu?"  
Earl shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe. That will help him long term if he's good at it. Meantime he needs something more immediate. Something that will work tomorrow."  
Carlos sucked in a deep breath and let it out in puffs. "Um."  
Cecil smiled. "Carlos? You have an idea?"  
"Not so much an idea, it's nothing new, just something my mother said my sister should do once. There was one guy who kept bothering her, calling her names because she didn't want to go out with him. Anyway, mama taught her one punch. They practised it before school and she smacked this kid in front of everyone." Carlos sighed. "She got expelled from school for it but the kid left her alone after that."  
Cecil grinned and muttered something like _if your sister and my sister ever meet..._  
Earl weighed up the options and said, "Y'know, I'll wait until tomorrow and ask Roger what he wants to do."

They slept on it. After breakfast, while Roger packed his lunch, Earl asked him how he felt about going for martial arts classes. Roger shrugged. "I guess it might be ok, but who do I fight?"  
Earl frowned. "All those things that kid said to you yesterday...?"  
"Oh that!" Roger shrugged again. "He's just some ass-face. I'll put one of Uncle Cecil's magazines in his desk then get Joe who's in his class to tell on him. You know, the ones about mountains and lumberjacks." Roger frowned. "You think Uncle Cee will mind? I mean he's got a few of them under the sofa cushions in his work room. He won't miss one, will he?"  
Earl's face twitched. "Um, you can be sure that I'll ask him. In the meantime, sweetheart, don't get caught with a magazine about mountains!"


	22. Shouldn't Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil brings home a time-saving kitchen gadget. Chef Harlan, officially, does not approve. But when he thinks nobody will know...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon said: 517/10 Cecearlos
> 
> "It shouldn't talk"

Earl stared at the shiny chrome box, Cecil's triumphant grin unbalanced by Earl's frown. "Ceece, what is it?"  
Cecil laughed with delight. "Carlos suggested it. He has one at the lab and there's one in the break room at work. It's a..." Cecil picked up the cardboard box, discarded on the floor, "...compact heavy duty combination microwave and grill with many programmable functions."  
Earl shrugged. "Sure, whatever. It's not going on my side of the kitchen, is it?"

Carlos displayed the correct reaction. As soon as he saw the new gadget he called Cecil at work and listed all the great features they could make use of, then made Roger and himself dinner of assorted leftovers in it, discussing with the boy whether or not they should tell Earl. 

After dinner, Roger read the instructions. He laughed. "Hey, Uncle Carlos, you know that little tune it plays when it's done? You can change that to anything you want up to five seconds."   
Carlos smiled. "Oh?"  
"Well," Roger laughed. "You know how dad's really grumpy about taking short cuts when we cook?"  
Carlos nodded. "Quite right too. He probably won't see right away that the new oven makes cooking that little bit more scientific and awesome."  
Roger nodded. "Uh-huh. So dad will probably refuse to use it, right? Just because?"  
Carlos agreed, "Yes, I expect he will complain too if we make dinner for him with the new oven. He'll say it doesn't taste right or the texture is all wrong or something. You want to design a scientific test to find out if your dad can tell the difference?"  
Roger laughed. "No, I was thinking of something else. We could..."  
Roger explained what he wanted to do, Carlos laughed and suggested running it past Cecil first.

Carlos sent Roger to bed only half an hour after his official bed time, after a series of very serious scientific investigations into what happens when you put different objects into a microwave oven, and after Roger promised not to tell Uncle Cecil just how cool and sparkly a microwaved CD looked, or how giggly Uncle Carlos got watching it crackle with miniature lightning. 

Carlos decided to wait up. Cecil came home first, wrecked from a long day preparing material, avoiding Station Management, recording and broadcasting. Carlos hugged him, kissed him and made him cocoa in the new microwave oven. Cecil listened to the noise the microwave made to announce that cocoa was ready, giggled at Carlos's explanation of what Roger wanted to do and agreed to help out. Earl came home in the small hours, tiptoed past Carlos and Cecil snoozing on the sofa, and slipped into the kitchen. Carlos woke when Earl returned with cocoa for himself and joined them.

"Busy night?" Carlos rubbed Earl's leg. Earl nodded.   
"Like you would not believe. Ugh. Thanks for waiting up, I hate coming home to a dark, silent house."  
Cecil stretched and yawned. "You made your cocoa quietly, I didn't hear any pans banging on the hob. Want me to go wash up for you?"  
"No, no need." Earl reclined into Cecil's offered hug. "I was real quiet and cleared up while my cocoa cooled."   
Carlos stood up. "Okay I have to be at work in six hours' time so I better get some sleep." He picked up the used mugs and took them to the kitchen, holding his hand over each ring on the hob in turn and feeling no residual warmth. He stifled a snigger and went up to bed. He was fast asleep by the time Cecil and Earl joined him.

It was Saturday. Carlos slept in after waking to call the overnight duty scientist and barter for a late start. Cecil had the day off and planned to use "I'm taking Roger" as an excuse to go for ice cream, and give him a tour of the radio station. Earl had to go to work after brunch. Carlos offered to make his favourite rosti in the new oven, Earl said it would be a terrible texture and had to be done properly. Cecil offered to make Earl oatmeal in the new oven. Earl refused because it would be too chewy and wouldn't taste right. Roger offered Earl his cereal. Earl munched grumpily on Flaky-Os while Roger tucked in to some of Carlos's rosti and Cecil's oatmeal.

Earl was still grumpy when he left for the restaurant. Cecil and Roger dropped Carlos off at the lab with a grin and a wink and continued on into town. The tour of the radio station was short, a quick look at the tiny booth before making a test recording that Cecil saved as a sound file on his phone. Over ice creams, they discussed what to do with the afternoon. Roger chose "finish what we started."

\--------

At three o'clock on Sunday morning, Earl tiptoed into the house, closing the door as quietly as he could and removing his shoes. He saw Carlos and Cecil asleep in each other's arms on the sofa and smiled. He had said not to wait up but always appreciated it when they tried. He continued on his silent path to the kitchen, poured a mug of milk, added some grated dark chocolate, looked around the door to check that neither Cecil nor Carlos had woken up, and opened the microwave door. He set it for ninety seconds and watched the mug rotate on the turntable, waiting for the soft beep.

UNCLE CECIL UNCLE CARLOS DAD'S USING THE MICROWAVE!

Earl jumped and swore, stabbing at the 'cancel' button. From the living room he heard Cecil and Carlos giggling. He stomped through. Bleary-eyed but grinning, Roger stood in the other doorway to the hall. Earl yelled, "IT SHOULDN'T TALK, DAMMIT!" He tried desperately to stay angry, but by the time he'd ordered, "Right! Everyone! Bed, NOW!" even Chef Harlan was laughing.


	23. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three discuss a problem after dom!Earl plays with sub!Cecil and sub!Carlos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said 518/4 Cecearlos, a discussion during aftercare
> 
> "He agreed to it."

Earl watched Carlos's eyes droop. It had been his suggestion and Earl felt bad. He stroked Carlos's cheek and kissed him on the forehead. Earl put his mouth close to Carlos's ear and murmured, _"you are amazing and I love you."_

Carlos barely responded. He sunk down the pillows a little further and let out a soft groan. Earl wrapped arms around Carlos and held him close. _"You did great, letting go like that is not easy. You can sleep if you want, I promise I'll stay with you."_

Cecil came in with water and snacks, concern still evident on his face. "Is he okay?"  
Earl accepted a glass of water and drank. "He will be. We need to have a proper discussion about this, sooner rather than later." Earl put his glass down and held Carlos again. "He's still pretty out of himself."  
Cecil joined them on the bed. He wrapped himself close against Carlos's back and spoke in calm, quiet tones. _"Hey Carlos, honey, we're both here. We love you. We're going to stay right here until you feel like moving, okay?"_  
Carlos muttered something indistinct.

The scientist fell asleep, wrapped in a blanket, with Cecil playing "big spoon" and Earl stroking his hair.  
Earl watched Cecil's face. The concern lifted a little as soon as Carlos's breathing betrayed his lack of awareness. Earl sighed and kissed Carlos's forehead. "I think I pushed him too far."  
Cecil nodded, but countered, "He agreed to it and said everything was green, you think he should have used amber? Red?"  
Earl shrugged. "I don't know. We need to talk about it."

Carlos opened his eyes about an hour later and, when they focused, found he was gazing at Cecil. He smiled and Cecil smiled back. "Hi, I was thinking about waking you up. Earl went to make us some tea. Want some food? How do you feel?"  
Carlos shuffled round, leaning against Cecil. Cecil shifted, raised an arm and rolled onto his back, inviting Carlos to use his shoulder as a pillow. Carlos settled and closed his eyes again. After a few minutes, he blurted out a question.  
"Does it make me weird that I like that kind of thing? If it was real... if I wasn't so sure I could trust you and Earl... I would have been too afraid of getting hurt."  
Cecil stroked the marks on Carlos's wrist and frowned, wondering if his ankles were also bruised. "No, not weird at all. Earl thinks he went too far." Cecil ran his fingers up Carlos's arm, across his shoulder and up to his face, tilting Carlos's head up a little and kissing his mouth. "Did he?"  
"No," Carlos settled his head back onto Cecil's shoulder. "But in that state I couldn't speak, I couldn't make words come out. I felt like my existence contracted to you and Earl and the feeling of pressure from the ropes and the things Earl was telling you to do with me." Carlos giggled. "And the things Earl was doing to me too. Mmhmm." Carlos giggled again. "I feel sort of high. I think scientifically I _am_ sort of high. Endorphins and stuff."

Cecil hugged Carlos and released him when Earl came back with three mugs on a tray.  
"Cecil, I made you rose, Carlos you get lavender, and I'm having jasmine. Sorry it took so long, someone..." Earl stared at Carlos, "used the strainer for _science."_  
Carlos smiled, sat up and took his mug. He inhaled the lavender scented vapour and sipped, testing the temperature. He set the mug down and grinned at Earl. "That was great, Earl, thanks."  
Earl smiled. "The tea? You're welcome."  
Carlos shook his head. "No, well yes that too, but I meant what you did for me today. I needed that."  
Earl sat on the bed and stroked Carlos's ankles under the blanket. "I didn't push you too far?"  
"No, but," Carlos frowned, "I can see how that might happen. If I go deep enough I can't say words. It's like a trance, I lose that connection with reality. All I experience is the scene, it feels real. It becomes real, to me."  
Earl nodded. "Okay. I need to know that for next time." He looked at Carlos from under a wrinkled brow. "If you want there to be a next time, there doesn't have to be if you'd rather not, if you don't feel safe."  
Carlos reached for Earl's hand. "I want to do it again. I like not having to think sometimes. I always feel safe with you, but maybe we need to plan more? Agree in more detail how a scene will play out, and stick with the plan? I get a real floaty feeling from being so far into sub-space but I can't warn you if I am uncomfortable." Carlos giggled again and held up his wrists, circled in red gradually tingeing with blue. "Maybe we could get some softer restraints, explaining my bruises might be difficult."  
Cecil shrugged. "Tell Roger you did some dangerous science. Tell everyone else to mind their own business."  
Carlos grinned. "No, I will tell my team the truth if they ask. That's the last thing they'll want to hear."


	24. Algebra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is stuck with his homework. Carlos tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No prompt for this one.   
> Anyone who has ever taught maths will recognise Carlos's pain.

Cecil smiled when he heard the car doors slam and footsteps on the path. Carlos's routine of collecting Roger from school and taking him to the lab for a couple of hours in the afternoon meant that he always got home on time. The front door banged and voices came from the hall downstairs. Cecil's smile widened to a grin.

A high, giggly voice, "Uncle Carlos, you know that word Rochelle said?"  
A deeper pitched voice, a serious tone. "I know that word you mean. I know that it is only a word and language is a rich and colourful thing, always evolving and developing, and word have meanings that also evolve and develop so the way a particular word is used in different contexts can be open to interpretation... Okay, what I mean to say is please don't use that word in that way in front of your dad. He will not think it's funny." 

Footsteps thudded upstairs, closer to Cecil. Roger went to his room to do whatever pre-teens do, Carlos went to get changed. Cecil opened his eyes.  
"Welcome home, honey!"  
Carlos laughed. "Ceece! I thought you would be at work this evening." Carlos sat on the bed beside Cecil, leaned down and kissed him. "Are you sick?"   
"No, the station is closed today. We are broadcasting recorded programmes only until pest control have dealt with the infestation in Station Management's office. They won't tell us exactly what it is, but the bites sure looked nasty. Poor intern Ajvir lost a lot of blood but he's going to be okay," Cecil held his hand out flat, fingers splayed, and waggled it, "ish. Okay-ish."   
Carlos got up and removed his lab-coat, shirt and jeans. "But you are okay?"

Cecil propped himself up on his elbow. "I'm fine. You, my favourite scientist, are particularly fine."  
Carlos pulled on his sweatpants and a tee. Cecil gave a dramatic sigh, making Carlos laugh. "Have you been bored this afternoon, Ceece, honey?" Cecil sighed again and muttered, _not yet._ Carlos smirked. "You want me to tell Roger to go put on a DVD?" Carlos stood beside the bed, leaned over and kissed Cecil, one hand resting on his stomach.  
"Oh so tempting," Cecil almost growled. "But no. Earl will be home soon too, we have a rare night in, all of us in the same place at the same time."   
"Oh?" Carlos grinned. "That's gonna be good."

Earl was home and Roger was downstairs scowling at his homework. Cecil ruffled his hair on the way past, Carlos asked him what was wrong.   
"Ugh, it's that stupid math again, you know, where they put random letters in it just to pi... annoy me." Roger slapped his _I won a thing_ pencil down on the table. "Why do they do that?"  
Carlos smiled and sat beside him. "It's actually real useful. I use algebra, like, _all_ the time. Want me to try to explain it?" Roger nodded. Carlos rubbed his chin. "Hmm. Okay we need a context. Um, okay. Say you wanted to make a cake."  
Roger looked up at Carlos. "What kind of cake?"  
"What? Um, chocolate." Carlos smiled. "It doesn't really matter."  
"Can it be an orange cake then? I don't like chocolate cake."  
"Sure," Carlos shrugged. "So you find a recipe for orange cake."  
Roger disagreed. "No, dad knows a great one off by heart."  
"Yeah, but he's not making the cake. You are."  
"O-o-ka-a-ay," Roger sounded doubtful.  
"And say the recipe makes a cake big enough for eight people and it needs three eggs." Carlos held up three fingers. "We can write formulas for the number of eggs you need for any number of people to have cake. Look," Carlos wrote _p = 8 c_ and _e = 3 c_ "The number of people who can have cake, p, is eight times the number of cakes because each cake gets cut into eight pieces. Each cake needs three eggs so the number of eggs is three times the number of cakes you want to make."  
"But," Roger frowned, "what if they wanted bigger pieces or of two people shared their piece? And you don't eat eggs so you couldn't have any! I'm not making a cake if you can't have a piece."

In the living room through the archway, Cecil and Earl sat smiling in rapt silence, grinning when they glanced at each other.

Carlos laughed. "Okay I'll try a different context. Imagine you saved up your pocket money and you wanted to take some friends out for a treat. You need to work out what you can afford. What if you wanted to take your friends bowling? Say you take yourself and three friends. You'd need four lots of the entry fee plus three lots of shoe hire because you got your own shoes, right?"  
Roger nodded. "They're real cool, Uncle Cecil got me my own pair! They don't smell weird like the ones they make you hire."  
"Yeah, they do smell funny. Okay, let's call the entry fee e and the cost of shoe hire s..." Carlos wrote _c = 4 e + 3 s_ "...so the cost of taking your friends out bowling, c, is four times the entry fee plus three times the shoe hire."  
Roger frowned. "But I thought c was the number of cakes and e was how many eggs I'd need?"

Cecil covered his mouth and Earl nodded, murmuring _that's my boy!_

Carlos sighed. "Yes, but we can use the same letter to mean something different in every problem."  
Roger drew his brows down as far as they would go and shook his head. "That's just silly. Uncle Carlos, each letter should have, like, one meaning. Not keep changing."  
Carlos smiled. "That would make it easier at first, but we'd run out of letters real quick. I mean, scientists use all the normal letters and when we run out we use Greek letters too and Hebrew sometimes. It gets real complicated and it turns out to be easier if we, um, recycle letters we already used."   
"O-o-ka-a-ay." Roger drawled. "So how do I do this problem?" Roger tapped his page. Carlos read.

_"The total cost of buying six burgers and eight fries was thirty dollars. Burgers cost three dollars. How much does the next person pay for two burgers and three fries? Use an algebraic method and show all your working."_

"Okay! I'll talk you through this one. Decide on some letters." Carlos waited while Roger thought.  
"Burgers can be b and fries can be f. But isn't burgers six and fries eight? That's what it says right there!" Roger stabbed the page with his pencil.  
"Um, b stands for the cost of a burger, not how many there are. And f is for the cost of a portion fries, not how many portions they got," Carlos explained.  
"Oh. Are they supersize or regular? Because if they got supersize they could share like Uncle Cecil and I do sometimes on Thursdays if you work late and dad's busy at the restaurant, so they wouldn't need as many portions. And if they ordered meals they'd get drinks to for, like, an extra penny." Roger nodded, pleased at having outsmarted his textbook. Carlos sighed.  
"No, they're getting regular portions."  
"Well that's just silly!" 

Earl and Cecil heard what sounded like Roger throwing his pencil against the wall. Carlos confirmed it.

"Ooh, nice shot! Roger, honey, want to give the math a rest for now and go watch TV?"   
Roger nodded. "Anyway, Uncle Carlos, it's ten-fifty."  
"Huh?" Carlos looked at the time on his phone.  
Roger slipped down from his seat. "For two burgers and three fries. Ten dollars and fifty cents."  
"How did you work that out?" Carlos waited with one eyebrow raised.  
"Oh," Roger shrugged and waved his hands in front of his face, as if shifting puzzle pieces around in mid-air. "I can kinda see how the numbers fit."

Earl hugged Roger and gave him the remote. "So-o-o, Uncle Cecil takes you out for burgers and fries?" He stared at Cecil. "Is that so, Ceece?"  
"You know," Cecil said, tapping his chin with one finger and edging toward the archway, "I think Carlos is making snacks. I'll go see..." Cecil slipped out of the living room, through the dining room, past Roger's abandoned books and into the kitchen where Carlos stood with his forehead against the fridge door. Cecil looped his arms around Carlos's waist and leaned his head on Carlos's shoulder.  
"You know, the boy makes good points about that math problem. The people in it were pretty stupid not to go for the meal deal or the bargain box."  
Carlos kissed Cecil, a quick brush of dry lips. "He said he can just see the numbers fitting together. He is doing algebra in his head without even realising. That's great!"  
Cecil shuffled behind Carlos as Earl wandered into the kitchen and peered out from behind his scientist-shaped shield. Earl laughed. "It's fine, Ceece. I don't want him having junk food but I know it's only once a month when Carlos does a late shift."  
Cecil stopped hiding behind Carlos, poured a glass of water and went back to the living room. Carlos opened the fridge. Earl murmured behind him, _hey, want to help me show Cecil how to make two go into one later?_


	25. Don't tell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janice lets slip to Steve that Roger is getting picked on at school.

Janice threw insults and projectiles one after the other. The other laughed and walked away. Roger touched Janice's arm as she raised it again, preparing to hurl her mini English-Sumerian dictionary at the back of that stupid head.  
"Stop, stop, you need that." Roger took the book from Janice's hand. "And there's no point. You'll get in trouble again and your mom will be mad at you when it's not even your fault."  
Janice screwed up her face. "But it's NOT FAIR!" She realised Roger still held her hand and shook him off. "They shouldn't be allowed to say stuff like that. Someone should make them stop."  
Roger punched Janice lightly on the shoulder. "Nope, I should ignore it and eventually they'll get bored and move on to the next kid who's different."  
Janice sighed and pulled at Roger's sleeve, took his hand again. "Yeah I know, but in my case the next different kid was you."

Roger knew better than to push Janice's wheelchair before she asked, but also to assist on ramps before she called him an ass for not noticing when she slowed down. They made their slow and steady way to cooking class.  
"You should tell someone." Janice stated.  
"No," Roger countered, "it won't help. I'm the weird kid with 'three dads' who sometimes forgets how to talk. I don't want to be the weird kid with 'three dads' who sometimes forgets how to talk and can't fight his own battles."   
Janice sighed. "You should still tell someone."  
Roger faced Janice at the cooking room door. "Did you?" Janice looked away. Roger rolled his eyes. "Jeez I hate cooking class. The teacher always expects me to be able to cook like I inherited it from dad. Dad, like, never cooks at home. Uncle Carlos and Uncle Cee take turns. I hope it's Uncle Cee tonight, he lets me order extra fries."

Janice was still angry when she got home. Steve greeted her with his usual, "Hey there honey, welcome home! Did you have a good day?"   
Janice sighed. She frowned. Steve shook his head, face blank. "Uh-oh, I know that look. What's up, Janice?"  
Janice accepted a glass of lemonade and a scone. She bit into the scone, chewed, eyebrows raised. "Um, should this be green?"  
Steve laughed. "Yes! Go on, guess."  
Janice took another bite. "Nope. It tastes okay I guess."  
Steve smiled. "Yeah, I need to work on that recipe. It's broccoli. Carlos asked me to find a way of getting young Roger to eat vegetables without whining about it."

Janice sighed again and abandoned the rest of the scone.   
"Dad, if you knew someone was in trouble and wouldn't speak up for themselves, what would you do?"  
Steve stopped bustling around the kitchen and sat opposite Janice.  
"Huh, tough one, kiddo. It depends on how much trouble and what the person wanted." Janice frowned at the scone. Steve picked up a crumbly fragment and ate it, muttered something about needing parmesan. He smiled at Janice. "Tell you what, why don't you tell me what the problem is and we can decide together if anybody else needs to be told."

Janice sipped at her lemonade.   
"Ugh, there's a group of assho... older kids bothering Roger. They used to call me names because I can't walk but I can take it. Roger gets upset. He won't show it but I know he hates it when they start on him."  
Steve kept his face and voice carefully calm. "Oh?"  
"Yeah," Janice continued. "They make a big deal out of him and his dad living with Uncle Cecil and Uncle Carlos. They say... nevermind."  
"It's okay honey, you're allowed cursewords if you have to use them to tell me what these kids said."  
"They yell horrible stuff. I don't want to repeat any of it." Janice set down her glass. "Anyway, Roger doesn't want to tell because he thinks they'll make things worse for him."  
Steve shrugged. "He might be right, Janice, it's not fair but sometimes you have to let things lie. Do you know which kids are doing it?"  
Janice nodded and reeled off three names before asking if she could watch TV for half an hour before homework. Steve laughed, said "no way" and watched her settle with her books. When Janice was busy, he grabbed a pen out of the 'empty, nothing to see in here' drawer and wrote down the three names. 

Later, after Janice's bedtime and consultation with Abby, Steve phoned Cecil.   
Cecil told Earl.  
Earl sat tight-lipped and scowling.

Next day at school, Janice met Roger by the gate as usual and accompanied him to class. She told herself she was just being a friend and anyway Roger was handy with the ramps, he knew from the easily-explainable innocent-looking bag of marbles tucked down the side of her chair that she was looking out for trouble. But when trouble appeared in the shape of three older boys, floppy-haired and smirking, carrying matching backpacks and almost identically dressed, the boys nudged each other and turned away, ducking out of sight into an open classroom. Janice looked disappointed. Roger took a deep breath and huffed it out.

"They must not have seen us," Roger decided.  
"No," Janice disagreed, "they looked right at us."  
"Huh." Roger half-pushed Janice's chair. "Wanna try wheelies again?"

Later, that night, Earl called Steve during his break. He perched on a crate in the alley behind the restaurant, enjoying fifteen minutes of cool air and relative quiet.   
"Hi. Steve? It's Earl"  
"...Hey Earl, howyadoin', buddy?"  
"Good. Has Janice mentioned those boys you told Cecil about?"  
"...I asked and she said the boys ignored them today."  
"That's great! I'll call Cecil and tell him not to... never mind."   
"...Earl, what did you do?"  
"I, um, I discussed it with Cecil. Carlos and Roger don't know so don't say, but I went to see the kids' parents. Turns out they listen to Cecil's show. I said Cecil would make it very... um... personal if the kids didn't stop being assholes. Every time one of them was mean to Roger or Janice, Cecil would drop a fact about their parents into his show."  
"...Like what?"  
"Um, like..." Earl whispered, hand cupped around his phone, "whose mom is selling Sharpies at a huge markup, and whose dad isn't really in the Sheriff's Secret Police's Super Secret Task Force, and whose family keeps a stash of wheat flour in the basement for private pizza parties that contravene the Big Rico Bye-law."  
"...What? Are you saying my brother-in-law is, uh... blackmailing these families to get their kids to behave?"  
"Um, when you put it like that it sounds--"  
"...AWESOME!"

Earl heard Steve laugh and say goodbye. He pocketed his phone, frowning a little and thinking that it really was time Roger picked up some scouting skills of his own.


	26. Borrowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Cecearl, "I need to borrow it for a minute"

Earl frowned. "Why do you have your hands in my... Oh! You should ask first, you know, before you touch my junk."  
Cecil jumped a little nervously. "Sorry, I know that." He smiled and moved his hands back to his sides. "May I?"  
Earl sniggered. "Yes you can use it all you want."  
""I, um, just... I need to borrow it for a minute." Uncertainty made Cecil's voice waver slightly.  
"Okay." Earl smiled. "No problem. Be careful though, you'll get the best result with slow, careful handling. Squeeze it evenly."

Cecil took it out and looked at it. He held it in the palm of one hand and stroked his fingers across, feeling the texture.  
"It's softer than it looks, quite pliable and slippery." Cecil announced, eyebrows up making his forehead wrinkle and smoothing out the line that usually lay between his eyebrows.  
Earl smiled and gave the smallest snort of almost-laughter. "Yeah, it has to be flexible. It'll feel firm once it's full. Want me to show you?"  
"Please," Cecil nodded, "I've only ever seen this on video. I've never done it myself."  
"Okay. Let's fill it up and I'll guide your hands at first." 

Later, with broad smiles and sticky hands, Earl rested his chin on Cecil's shoulder, both of them admiring the glistening, slowly setting white trail in front of them. Cecil licked the fingers of his right hand, offering his left to Earl.  
"Mmm, interesting flavour."  
"Yes," agreed Earl. "You made a decent job of that, for a beginner. Are you sure you've never done it before? Your pressure was almost perfect."  
Cecil shook his head. "No, never. But I liked the way it felt in my hands." He turned to face Earl. "Do you think he'll like that we did it?"  
Earl smiled. "He'll love it." 

They admired the large, vegan carrot cake with _scientifically speaking, today is Carlos's birthday_ piped in lemon frosting on top.  
"Come on," Cecil grinned. "Let's totally embarrass Carlos by taking it to the lab and singing happy birthday to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will make sense if you've ever used a piping bag.


	27. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Be a better human"

Gold head scowled. "Now you all hold your tongues. I'm the communicator, we agreed--"

"We did no such thing!" Violet interjected. "You informed us of the need to be silent and we all--"

"SILENCE!" Green head roared, hiccuping a little tendril of flame. "Shut up, Purple. As for you, Yellow, we al know you do NOT have what it takes to pull this off. I am taking charge."

Blue almost head-butted Green as he snapped around to stare. "I am the logical choice. You will just wind everyhead up. You insulted Violet and Gold, that is not the sign of an effective leader." Blue managed to tut, which is a difficult thing for a dragon. "I am the best."

"Uh, heads u-u-up," Grey drawled, lifting his head from under a webbed wing. "I've spent more time studying their pointless activities."

"No!" Violet screeched. "You are a terrible fifth of a dragon! Who ever heard of a dragon taking afternoon naps?"

Gold and Blue rolled their eyes at each other while Green and Violet held a staring contest and Grey fell asleep.

Gold chose his best conciliatory expression, which was still terrifying. "Now, heads, heads, this is getting us nowhere. We should use fair democratic procedure and hold a vote--"

"I vote for me-ee-ee!" sang Grey, muffled by the wing he didn't bother lifting.   
"AND I VOTE FOR ME!" boomed Green.  
Violet smirked. "I vote for, oh let me think, I vote for me too."  
Blue sighed. "Goldie, this was not one of your better plans. I vote for me."  
Gold shot a jet of flame straight up in frustration.

Blue grinned. "Logically we should hold a secret ballot. Each of us chooses who to vote out. One elimination every round until there is only one left."

Green complained that it was unnecessary when they could just hold a burning stuff down competition.  
Violet said it was demeaning.  
Gold shook his head then nodded in agreement.  
Grey simply snored.

Round one eliminated Green by four votes, with one vote for Purple. Violet promised revenge.  
Round two got rid of Grey by three votes to two.  
Violet lost round three and demanded a re-count.  
Blue and Gold nodded at each other, a sign of peace before the final vote. 

Blue shook his head at Gold's demand, but did as he was asked anyway. "You know I would make a better human. Give me the bow-tie."

Gold ducked his head and fastened the disguise around his scaly neck. He admired his reflection for a few seconds.

"Right then, y'all hush and remember we're a human called Frank and humans don't have four squabbling heads."


	28. Forgotten Shore

Earl picked up the black bakelite receiver and dialled. He counted the clicks, waited for the clunk and the hiss that meant the Agency was recording today, and listened to the ring of the phone he knew was in Cecil's apartment. Earl gave it twelve rings before he cradled the receiver with a gentle clack. He sighed and walked away from the perforated metal hood and the next person in line nodded to him. Maybe tomorrow Cecil would answer and enthuse about his travels. For now, Earl consoled himself that his best friend was probably having a great time without him.  
It didn't help the ache below his sternum or the hollow in his gut.

Every night for weeks, on the way home from work, Earl paused to call. To check.

Earl reached a day when he did not stop at the public telephone on his way home. There was a line, as usual, and the sky lowered and blackened with threats of beautiful destruction. The scoutmaster hurried on past, nodding at the man who joined the line just as he wrapped his jacket around him tight, almost chanting the number to himself with the footfalls of his jog. Earl slowed around the corner, heart thumping, queasiness churning his innards. He would not go back and call Cecil's empty apartment. 

Cecil walked through town, head down. The dark sky reminded him of Luftnarp and the quiet, frightened looking but kind people who took care of him, an interloper in their country. He decided he should be kind to interlopers, not that they got many. The air felt heavy, ready to rain in a rare but welcome deluge that would scour the streets clean again and turn trickling creeks into raging torrents for a day or two. Lightning hit somewhere nearby and in the rumble that followed, Cecil almost thought he recognised a face.

"Ceece? Cecil! You're back!"  
The face gaped at him. Cecil frowned.  
"Hello?"  
"Come on, Ceece, it's me. Can we get indoors? My place isn't far and-- Oh!" Another flash seared the sky and Earl saw. "Oh, Ceece, not again. I'm so sorry. I am your friend. Will you let me take you home?"  
Cecil nodded, Earl unable to take his eyes away from the scars under the regrowth of black hair on Cecil's scalp as heavy drops punched up dust around them.

Earl took Cecil home to the apartment he had been calling every night. It was unlocked and a key lay on the kitchen table. It was almost exactly the way Earl remembered from the morning Cecil received a letter informing him of his trip. Cecil had been so excited he couldn't stay still. How he had chattered about all the places he could visit! Promising to send postcards, pointing at the travel posters on the wall. And Earl had laughed, imagining Cecil's return after a few weeks with tales he would embellish forever.

Cecil's backpack sat in the hall. Earl unpacked it, hanging unworn clothes in the closet, then made Cecil a snack from the grocery bag in the kitchen. Whatever they had done to Cecil, whatever Cecil had said to earn this, could have been so much worse. Cecil would not remember what they briefly had together, he knew that, but Earl could still be a friend. 

"Um, excuse me?" Cecil stood just beyond the kitchen door. "Thank you for bringing me here but if this is my place I think I would like to be on my own."  
Earl turned and watched Cecil's morose expression for a few seconds. He sighed.  
"Okay. Okay, I will leave you, but I want you to call me if you need anything."  
Cecil frowned. "That's very kind of you, but why on Earth would I do that?"  
That silenced Earl. He picked up his jacket and left to walk home in the rain. 

Cecil woke up late next morning, lurched to the kitchen for coffee and picked a scrap of paper that stuck out from his letterbox. He read and frowned.

 _How all of this had been before;_  
_How ages far away_  
_I lay on some forgotten shore_  
_As here I lie to-day._

His lips shaped silent words in response.

 _I have forgotten whence I came,_  
_Or what my home might be,_  
_Or by what strange and savage name_  
_I called that thundering sea._

He frowned, an idea or maybe a memory flickering at the edge of his consciousness but refusing to settle. The effort gave him a headache that seared through his temples. He crumpled the note in his fist and dropped it. 

By the time his coffee was ready, Cecil had forgotten all about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verses from this:  
> http://www.bartleby.com/103/138.html


	29. Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Josie and Cecil "You need to be everywhere"

Josie Ortiz was getting old, and her friend Cecil was not. That made her ponder the nature of space and time, but never for too long. There was actual thinking and working to be done and sitting around contemplating her wrinkles wasn't going to achieve anything. "If I got limited time," she told Erika, "I ain't gonna waste none."

Cecil rolled his eyes for two reasons. One, Josie was talking to herself again because the improbably tall, winged being, who could not possibly be sitting in the booth beside her, could not possibly exist and was definitely not an angel. Two, he had heard Josie say that particular sentence more times than he could count.

"I saw that, Cecil Palmer! You oughtta show an old lady more respect." Josie sipped her drink and winked. Cecil laughed.  
"Sure I show you respect! I let you win tonight."  
Josie nudged the unlikely creature beside her.   
"Hear that Erika? Cecil doesn't appreciate your bowling skills."  
Erika reached out one, elongated digit and booped Cecil on the nose. Cecil made a show of looking around in mock-panic, hissing _who did that!_

Cecil sighed and stared into the murky depths of his coffee cup.   
"Josie, you know all these new interlopers in town?"  
Josie nodded.  
"Thought ya liked interlopers."  
"Not these ones." Cecil shook his head. "Carlos is, you know, my favourite interloper, and he is different. He's... just... so..."  
Josie exchanged a look with Erika as Cecil drifted into a daydream. Josie banged her glass on the table and Cecil jerked back into the present.  
"Neat. Especially since he got back. But these new guys? The ones with the ragged-looking business suits and tired smiles," Cecil leaned forward, "Like those guys over there. _Don't look!"_  
Josie craned her neck to eyeball the couple who were wearing office wear that had seen better days and who were absorbed in studying the menu and counting loose change, sliding coins into groups on the countertop, while their server tapped a foot. Cecil called the server over.  
"Hey, could I get some more coffee over here?"  
The server flashed a scowl then rearranged their features into a professional neutrality as they fetched the coffee pot. Josie slid out of the booth and headed for the counter.

"Hey, you kids new in town?"  
The woman smiled warily.  
"Yeah, just got here."  
Josie did not look unkind. She flicked her gaze from the woman to the man and back, estimating ages as mid-twenties.   
"Swell. This is a nice town."  
"Um," the man spoke quietly. "We heard there might be, um, opportunities for, um, people willing to work hard and be productive."  
"Oh, did ya now?" Josie fixed him with a glare. "That sure is interesting. There many like you where you're from?"  
The woman nodded. "We have a place to stay. Maybe you can give us directions?" She showed a slip of paper to Josie. Josie smiled.  
"Aw hun, that's in the barista district. Go through town and out the other side. You'll smell it before you see it."

Cecil listened as Josie interrogated the interlopers. Erika squawked and cooed every so often. Cecil waited until the server poured him coffee had left, grumbling about _damn interlopers asking to pay in scrip._ He settled his eyes on Erika, suppressing the discomfort in his mind and the trembling in his core at this small acknowledgement of the being's existence. Cecil leaned forward.  
"You and Josie did this. If you want things put right, you need to be everywhere these refugees arrive and help them."

Josie saw the couple to the door of the diner and waved them away. Cecil saw the woman limp in her worn out mid-heeled court shoes and the man offered her his arm for support. Josie slid back into the leatherette bench seat.  
"They'll be okay. There's plenty of baristas looking to take on apprentices and they're young. They'll fit in just fine. Put a barista teeshirt and an apron on 'em, and that smile they can't drop will come in real handy when they ask the hundredth customer _you want a pastry with that?"_   
Cecil shrugged and wrinkled his nose as he sipped his coffee. "I guess the town could always use more baristas."


End file.
